The Silver HordeThe Silver Horde appeared in Interesting Times with Cohen {spolier} at the end of which he became The Emperor Ghengiz Cohen of the Agatean Empire. They are all psychotic pensioners, none of them would seem to be a day under eighty. Called the Silver Horde because that is the colour of the hair of those that have any, between them they have various home made surgical supports, spectacles, dentures, long woolly combinations and strange elasticated things with tiny leather loincloths and bits of fur and chainmail; plus of course an armoury of notched blades.
Front row:-
Mad Hamish - He is 105 years old, very deaf, with beady animal eyes and looks like a wizened monkey under a helmet with horns. At that stage in life where he can only eat gruel which dribbles down onto his beard. A rug covers his legs when he is in his ancient wheel chair and occasionally hides his own two axes and the other Horde member's weapons when required. The chair is equipped with blades and in The Last Hero was mounted on skis and covered with rags of blankets and animal skins with a barrel containing 50lb of Agetean Thunder Clay strapped behind the chair. The clay would be detonated by smashing a jar of acid inside the mixture; the acid soaks in then kablooie.
Mr Pretty - Thin human minstrel dressed in brightly coloured clothes with a lute. To be paid by a leather bag of rubies to write a saga of the Hordes deaths. After a few encounters was white faced, one leg of his tights had been ripped off, he was soaking wet, parts of his clothes were singed and part of the lute had been bitten away. Raised in the faith of The Almighty Nuggan and so forbidden to eat chocolate, ginger, mushrooms and garlic.
Ghenghiz Cohen the Barbarian - He is a skinny little 87 year old, totally bald, a grubby beard almost to knees that could made a loincloth unnecessary from point of view of decency, his body a network of scars, you could play noughts and crosses on, twanging white-hot tendonitis and match stick legs with varicose veins that looked like street maps. He has a set of false teeth made from a troll's diamond teeth and a black patch over one eye. He suffers from lumbago, arthritis, backache, piles and bad digestion, smells of peppermints. Wears a studded leather holdall or loincloth and pair of boots that could accommodate a 2nd pair of feet. His sword grip has worn smooth with use and has an edge like a badly maintained saw. He has written a book, "Inne Juste 7 dayes I wille make You a Barbearian Hero!" and when asked what are the greatest things in life, his answer is: "hot water, good dentistry and soft lavatory paper".
Bethan - A 17 year old virgin who was about to be sacrificed In The Light Fantastic and rescued by Cohen who she subsequently married; becoming one of a number of 'wives'. Attractive but pale in long white robe with a gold torc round her neck. Those that have read the graphic novel version of 'The Light Fantastic' will recognise the origins of her banner and weapons.
Truckle the Uncivil - He has a beard and uses herbal suppositories. His walking sticks have LOVE and HATE written on them. He has been given a piece of paper, now grubby, with civilized swear words (dang, darn, heck etc.) on by Teach as part of his efforts to civilize the Horde.
Rear row:-
Old Vincent - An 87 year old who choked to death on a cucumber (off screen or at least not in print).
Thog the Butcher - He would have been the 8th member of the gang in Interesting Times but was unable to come due to the inconvenience of having to stop fighting to visit the lavatory ever 10 minutes.
Caleb the Ripper - He is a frail man of 85 with a crusty beard with knots in it and wears a shirt and leather. Has killed more than 400 men with his bare hands and two with their bare hands.
Teach (Ronald Saveloy) - He is a slight figure, tall and stick like. Slightly goat faced with an amiably absent minded expression, a fringe of white hair so he looked like a daisy from above. Wears a chain mail vest slightly too big for him which has a breast pocket containing 3 different coloured pens in a leather pocket protector and has a huge scabbard strapped to his back containing a variety of scrolls and brushes - but no sword. He reads books and can make maps. He is an ex school teacher of Geography who has joined the Horde for a quieter life with the intention of civilizing them. He normally doesn't fight and in his only battle he uses a sword provided by Boy Willie and a shield from Caleb who tells him that the shield is made of chocolate and to chew on it if he feels the need.
Boy Willy - aka Mad Bill, Wilhelm the Chopper, The Great.. the only one under 80 years of age and because of this although he has the dehydrated look they all share he is marginally less wrinkled than the others. He has extremely thick soles to his boots due to an orthopaedic problem - both legs are shorter than the other. He has a pipe and tobacco.
The unit is based on skeletons with some old looking heads. Arm bands and boots or trousers were sculpted to hide the double bones and a little filler was used on hands and ribs, etc to give a thin old man look. All were then given longer hair and beards.
