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Author Topic: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle - The Legend  (Read 250964 times)

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1175 on: May 05, 2008, 12:06:06 AM »
Watch out so you do not loose your head. I heard someone was inventing a magnificently efficient headchopper, wait... it was called guillotine or something... funny, sounds like your name... :Ohmy:
I would like to point out, that as efficient as this new fangled guillotine may be, it would wreck havoc with Nordland's long standing plans to clear more acreage for food crops by meeting the Inquisition's demands for high quality firewood.  This new invention could result in a drastic spike in unemployment among wood cutters, lengthen the que for peasant homesteads, provide hiding spots for feline molesting beastmen, not to mention put a strain on MY financial holdings.

Now, I would first like to point out that it is a well known fact that only fire can remove the stain of heresy from the unfortunate soul.  If these evil doers get sent to the after-life with little more then a flick on the neck, they will smugly walk around Morr's Gardens thinking they pulled one over on us and they will end up hogging all of the good tables in the best after-life café's.  Only a good burning will put these souls in there places.

Now I am willing to leave the theological issues aside and propose a much fairer test to determine which method of execution is superior.  I have twenty unfortunate common criminals to be dispatched.  I have no doubt that each method will accomplish the relatively simple business of snuffing the "subjects"  The prize shall be won by whichever executioner produces, using only their implements of destruction, the most perfectly toasted marshmallow.  I shall call this test "Trial By Marshmallow"
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Alexander de Wissont

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1176 on: May 05, 2008, 06:26:46 AM »
Every army can create some form of "uh oh" unit.  Even Skaven, although the rats are the weakest there.  The most common cause of that reaction from Empire is the War Alter, not the steam tank.  Of course that is a character, which may not be what you meant.  Most severe reactions involves dangerous characters, even if joining a dangerous unit.  Blood Knights are bad news.  Blood Knights joined by a Lord and a BSB are a whole different level of bad news.
A heretic found. So, Rufas, how should we punish him?
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Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1177 on: May 05, 2008, 09:11:29 AM »
Arrr... another one! Well, how about that Trial by marshmallows? :icon_razz:
Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1178 on: May 05, 2008, 05:31:00 PM »
No, no, no!  Trial by marshmallow was only a special case.  The guillotine was totally incapable of  producing a toasted marshmallow, although it did produce a congealed blood marshmallow, burning by the finest Nordland firewood is appropriate.  I am not sure Dabber needs burning as it seems he is merely pointing out tactics, but timber sales has been off so, what the heck.

May Morr have mercy on his soul.
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1179 on: May 05, 2008, 05:51:59 PM »
Rufas... you can't go around and say "may morr have mercy on his and that's soul" when we are a Sigmarite organisation. It just isn't appropriate  :-D
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Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1180 on: May 05, 2008, 06:15:18 PM »
It is a mark of good breeding to respect all of the Imperial gods.

I've been meaning to have a word with you about your worship of this god "Arnie"  I can't seem to find  mention of him in any of the ancient religious texts.  But that photo in your cell bears a striking resemblance to a minor Khorne deity known as the Terminator....

Well?
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1181 on: May 05, 2008, 06:48:08 PM »
In my cell?... you mean you have been in my bedroom without my permission... (quickly hides the titanium skulls in a drawer)... They are only for study of course!..

Oh and the Arnie character is of course just a reknowned Master engineer from Altdorf I tell ya! :engel:
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Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1182 on: May 05, 2008, 09:23:46 PM »
Thats it, as a summer project I am making the cyber engineer out of those necron in my storage room.

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1183 on: May 06, 2008, 04:19:51 AM »
Breaking News, Stop the Presses!

After years of investigating, we finally have a inconvertible proof of Lord Midaski's long term plans to sell his soul to the Lords of Chaos in exchange for....

As it follows Sigmar is the only man ever to rise to divinity but is it possible that it can happen again ..........

I'm hoping it will .....................
While it is the absolute truth that Sigmar rose to divine status, it is an assault to all reason that Lord Midaski, whom is not fit to serve as Sigmar's spittoon, could hope of achieve true divinity.  It is well known that the Lords of Chaos often tempt the powerful with the delusion of divinity.  Those who follow this path, have a minuscule chance to obtain the status of a minor Daemon serving the great Daemon Lords in some demeaning capacity.  But the vast majority of these fools will end up as mindless spawn or worse as a kitten in the presence of PhillyT.

Either Lord Midaski is in league with the Lords of Chaos to bargain his soul and the Imperial Treasury in exchange for an eternity as PhillyT's bitch, or he has the extreme arrogance to believe himself to the equal of Sigmar.  In either case the only recourse is the purifying element of flame. (Provided by the finest quality Nordland timber at our everyday low prices.)

I hereby call upon Lord Midaski, Chancellor of the Exchequer, to come forth into these hallowed halls of the Inquisition to defend himself.  Anyone else would be summarily burnt, but in deference to Lord Midaski's position, we shall allow him the chance to make his pathetic excuses before the burning.  It should be good for a laugh.

In addition, we will also be burning FVC for knowing too much about matters better left alone.
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1184 on: May 06, 2008, 08:39:34 AM »
Yeah! Well spoken! I want a laugh before I start with lengthy process of tearing down a building a new church! :icon_mrgreen:
Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!

Offline Obi

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1185 on: May 06, 2008, 08:53:56 AM »
[dramatic woman's movie voice]NO! NO! NOOOOOOO![/voice]
Yes! I love fun after a good holiday. It puts of the drag of work.
Hello Athiuen and welcome to the Back Table.

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Offline HighPriest Rian

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1186 on: May 06, 2008, 01:50:32 PM »
Every army can create some form of "uh oh" unit.  Even Skaven, although the rats are the weakest there

There is no such thing as Skaven! They are simply mis-identified beastmen by soldiers who have succumb top the stress of battle, and are simply in need of a good rest. Those that continue to make claims about rat people will be presumed to be tainted by Ch.. Ch.. by those fould evil beasts, and shall be burned in the purifying flames.

Also, regarding the burning of Lord Midaski. Some claims from Nuln are state that using large bellows when burning increases the temperature of the flames. They also suggest various "gasses" can be added to a burning to make fancy coloured flames!

I know those from Nuln walk a fine line with their "engineering" believes, but i feel strongly that they may be acceptable in this regard, as Sigmar would surely want us to burn heretics in the empire in as dramatic fashion as possible?

With sword in hand; with my brothers I'll stand
To guard the Altdorf walls.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2008, 07:53:43 PM by HighPriest Rian »
Quote from: Dendo Star link
"When you play Empire, you must understand that every army is either tougher, scarier, better, stronger, faster, or inherently more powerful than you are.

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1187 on: May 06, 2008, 02:11:27 PM »
Highpriest... Go back to Inquisition school...

Only the uneducated and foolish peasants in our glorious empire believes that there are no ratmen..

Of course there are ratmen.. called Skaven!... And its our job to kill them if they interfere with our work...
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Offline Obi

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1188 on: May 06, 2008, 05:07:48 PM »
Yeah. Where have you been anyway?
Hello Athiuen and welcome to the Back Table.

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I killed a duck with a spear, can't read train timetables though
"To be is to do"-Socrates;
"To do is to be"-Sartre;
"Do Be Do Be Do"-Sinatra

Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1189 on: May 06, 2008, 05:38:52 PM »
Of course there are ratmen.. called Skaven!... And its our job to kill them if they interfere with our work...

So if they don't interfere then you will leave them alone?  And where exactly will they live ah?  Not in my basement!

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1190 on: May 06, 2008, 06:34:15 PM »
You stupid beast! They will come to your basement first! Why do you think we let you live in the basement in the first place?
Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!

Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1191 on: May 06, 2008, 07:16:51 PM »
Well...

I am going to need some bigger cats... please.

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline HighPriest Rian

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1192 on: May 06, 2008, 07:54:56 PM »
Grrr... there are no such thing as Skaven. As proud members of the inquistion you should uphld that "view". If the people of the empire found out about a secret race of rat-people in the grounds below their feet ther would be chaos.. and no cats left for Philly
Quote from: Dendo Star link
"When you play Empire, you must understand that every army is either tougher, scarier, better, stronger, faster, or inherently more powerful than you are.

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1193 on: May 06, 2008, 10:10:51 PM »
Lord Miidaski is ignoring the summmons.  Further proof of his guilt. 

Using bellows to increase the heat of the clensing fire has long been known.  Lord Ironmonger of the Salzenmund Ironmongers Guild ran a demonstration project some time ago.  It burned the heretics too quickly, reducing their suffering, and more importantly it burnt the marshmallows to toast.  A nice bed of coals and slow roasting produces the best results.
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline HighPriest Rian

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1194 on: May 07, 2008, 08:04:48 AM »
Another issue, but how does Lord Midaski's ward save affect the burning? Maybe we should get a magi from the colleges to bring us some dispell scrolls for the Barbeq.. burning
Quote from: Dendo Star link
"When you play Empire, you must understand that every army is either tougher, scarier, better, stronger, faster, or inherently more powerful than you are.

Offline Midaski

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1195 on: May 07, 2008, 08:49:38 AM »
Lord Miidaski is ignoring the summmons.  Further proof of his guilt. 


Listen you scrawny excuse for a mage/general - you don't summon me. :icon_evil:

One gentle push from my finger and you and the whole tabernacle are gone for ever .............

The Chief Justices would throw your petition out anyway as you have summoned someone who I doubt even exists - what sort of scribes have you got working for you if you cannot even prepare the paperwork properly. :icon_rolleyes:

Actually I suppose "Lawyers R' US" is struggling at the moment:
 - the property market has crashed in Nordland - all that sub-prime timber they use,
 - Madame R's is probably struggling as most Marienburgers are wetting their knickers and too scared to raise a glass let alone anything else  :icon_wink:
 - you must fear for your well-being since Larry, Moe etc were turned into a stew.
 - you keep getting your ass handed to you by Suzy Dendo - you had better make sure you decline any challenge from Wiss' Wife, that would just be too embarrassing.
 - following the last Mid-Atlantic Bash jibes, it must also be particualrly galling that the Western European Two-Day Bash is now looking at an attendance of some 15 members.
 - and finally I hear Two-Ton Sally has consulted Perambulator about suing you for defamation to the tune of $2million as she insists she is and only ever has been 1.76 tons.

As to your pathetic accusations - I see no evidence that will stand up to any scrutiny.
Indeed it could be more easily interpreted either as a desire to see Sigmar himself rise again, or for a new hero of the Empire to appear and finally crush all our enemies and then ride off into the sunset and achieve his true recognition - a true Son of Sigmar.

Your asumption I was talking personally is twisting speculation to the limit and indeed I am somewhat disheartened that the Inquisition has not considered an internal investigation over this sort of sedition. McKnight seems to be the only one aware of the dangers, but you chose to ignore his warning of incurring my wrath. It's a pity certain other Inquisitors are so easily swayed by your insane rantings.
I doubted its competence from the beginning and always felt that it was open to infiltration and corruption by evil forces.


When the glorious forces of Kislev deign to visit Nordland this summer, we will be bringing our own superior timber with us, and you Nordlanders should remember you are just junior hangers-on in the League of Free Traders, and speak when you are spoken to, and jump when my Boyars give you orders ...............

 :engel:
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Quote
Metal to Finecast - It is mostly a swap of medium. 

You mean they will be using Ouija boards instead of Tarot cards for their business plans from now on?

Offline Obi

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1196 on: May 07, 2008, 10:24:42 AM »
lol


Unfortunately, you have overlooked some things:
a) we are the sigmarite empire army
b) nobody cares about rufas disappearing  :engel:
c) we have considered internal investigation, but due to recent events we have lost faith in the IA-team.
d) there never was an IA-team
e) Won't it be too hot for you this summer?
Hello Athiuen and welcome to the Back Table.

caveat lector
I killed a duck with a spear, can't read train timetables though
"To be is to do"-Socrates;
"To do is to be"-Sartre;
"Do Be Do Be Do"-Sinatra

Offline Obi

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1197 on: May 07, 2008, 10:43:17 AM »
Heretics:
Nice looking army (even if it is comprised of Averlanders  :icon_razz: ).

I really like the War Alter.
Nice!  I like the look of the vehicle being used.  It seems very fitting to call this a war alter.  I can imagine the priest using this on holy days while the army is on the move or before an impending battle giving a last service as the morning light dawns behind the priests shoulders. :icon_cool:
Your war alter creation inspired my writing, and when I get around to doing one for my army, your's will be inspirational in how I create mine.  Feel free to use the writing in your fluff. :icon_wink:
::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::

Nice character, though!
Hello Athiuen and welcome to the Back Table.

caveat lector
I killed a duck with a spear, can't read train timetables though
"To be is to do"-Socrates;
"To do is to be"-Sartre;
"Do Be Do Be Do"-Sinatra

Offline Alexander de Wissont

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1198 on: May 07, 2008, 12:48:18 PM »
 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: GamesPoet ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: SYN Ace    ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::
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Offline Nicholas Bies

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1199 on: May 07, 2008, 02:49:50 PM »
2 in one huh..

better make sure they cook all the way through. Badly cooked human gives me the shits.
The greatest form of control which can go on forever until it is exposed is a tyranny you can't see, touch and taste (unlike totalitarian Govts). When you sit in a prison cell but can't see the bars, because people don't rebel against not being free when they think they're are.