Author Topic: Passing of A Loved One ... (Read 981 times)

GamesPoet · « **on:** November 02, 2020, 01:04:22 PM »

Wasn't really sure where it might be good for me to post this, and so I am placing it here as a place where other's can also share in their situations with loved ones, if they ever need or want to do such.

- - -

My father passed away on Sunday at about 6:10pm. It was quite the eye opening experience during his last 24 hours. It seemed quite peaceful as well. At one point early on he seemed to stop breathing, and there was nothing for about 5 seconds. This went on for perhaps another 10 to 15 seconds as I went to get my mother, returned with her, and her grief started flowing. When she gave him a hug, then his breathing started back again. He continued on for another day and a half or so. Some might say he was a fighter all his life, and although there was no sign of significant struggle these last few days, he seemed to move forward through out this last year with the fight in him. It was priceless to interact with him, see him admit the things he did, tell the stories he told, see how the moments of his life were recalled, hear him express the love he had for his kids and grandkids and wife and family and friends, and he repeatedly said he had no regrets.

Also, with my other life experiences, I was able to remain calm throughout, and despite sibling issues arising, occasionally even in my direction. There were multiple moments where attempts were made to direct me or involve me in the unfortunateness of such things. And those that tried were not happy when I didn't take the issues on to me.

The last year has been an amazing process for me of slowly letting my father go, and although I probably have a bit more to process, such is the way of life, there is much peace within me. I feel empathy towards some of these relatives who are certainly in pain, yet there is only so much any person can do to support such situations, and when it is not wanted, I am accepting of that as well.

Cheers to those here, and in my other social aspects of life, who are aware of how these things can go, and provide support as possible. I am beautifully blessed and immensely grateful.

wissenlander · « **Reply #1 on:** November 02, 2020, 03:17:07 PM »

Condolences, GP. God bless.

Gankom · « **Reply #2 on:** November 02, 2020, 04:03:49 PM »

Grief is good in its own way. I'm sorry for your loss GP, and may the happy memories always stay with you.

Padre · « **Reply #3 on:** November 02, 2020, 06:01:46 PM »

Sad to hear, GP, but I recognise some of your feelings. I lost my mum after her three years fighting cancer, and was with my grandfather while he died during that same three years. The fact that both mum and grandad were ill for a long while helped me a bit, because I had already moved at least some way along the road of coming to terms with losing them.

Your dad sounds amazing. I am sure you will help your mother with her loss, even while feeling the loss yourself.

Midaski · « **Reply #4 on:** November 02, 2020, 08:07:14 PM »

Sad to hear your news GP, though I believe you knew it was coming.

I lost my father back in April 1997 just after Easter - we had been down for a break with him over the Easter weekend and came home on the Tuesday.
On the Sunday I went back and he was pretty much in a coma. He died in a hospice bed the Thursday following.

I think I was lucky that we only found out he was riddled with cancer on the Easter Monday, the day before we came home.
He had kept any pain to himself - a seemingly normal thing for his generation, and we had only noticed tiredness and short-term memory loss.
It was relatively quick.

I saw the shell of the man I knew in the hospice bed, but the fact it wasn't a long drawn out affair, meant when I think of him, I was able to remember him in good times.

It is good too that around others, there was a sense of 'things to do' and organise.
My grief came out when I was alone and went for a walk.

Stay strong, and don't rise to family squabbles.

Artobans Ghost · « **Reply #5 on:** November 02, 2020, 10:10:49 PM »

Well said GP. Sorry for your loss and good for you to stay above the squabbles. Sounds like a hard week all round.

Warlord · « **Reply #6 on:** November 02, 2020, 11:08:29 PM »

Very sad news GP.
Regardless of how long you knew it was coming, still sad.

Novogord · « **Reply #7 on:** November 03, 2020, 08:30:10 AM »

My condolences, GamesPoet.

StealthKnightSteg · « **Reply #8 on:** November 03, 2020, 08:42:35 AM »

Sorry for your loss GP, good to hear your dad had no regrets, that is positive!

oak_prince · « **Reply #9 on:** November 03, 2020, 03:58:21 PM »

Godspeed, GP's dad.

Zygmund · « **Reply #10 on:** November 05, 2020, 12:06:51 PM »

My condolences, Games Poet.

You wrote well. A sobering read. Same for Midaski.

I've only lost my grandparents, and an old uncle. All were hospitalized long before passing away, and most had their spirit gone long before, essentially sleeping away slowly and peacefully. Our last real discussions happened months or years before the passing.

The one who was awake towards the end still had clear memory and his charm. He seemed to remember the good things, although his quietness probably hid some things. There had been grievances and sadness in his life, more than many could carry, which were also mirrored in the family. It took a couple of years for the pain to ease in the family, and I'm afraid not everyone is through it even after 10-15 years.

I'm glad I spent some time with him in the hospital, seeing his struggle and how he coped with it. We could talk then, and I didn't have questions or arguments left when the end came, just the realization of it happening.

It will feel much heavier when my parents' time comes, one day, even if I know there will be no regrets. I hope I have your calmness and courage then, GP.

-Z

Henerius · « **Reply #11 on:** November 05, 2020, 12:17:59 PM »

My condolences Gamespoet

I wish you and youre family all the best for the future. Take care.

Henerius

S.O.F · « **Reply #12 on:** November 06, 2020, 10:20:35 PM »

Sorry to hear man, condolences sir.

Mathi Alfblut · « **Reply #13 on:** November 06, 2020, 10:55:09 PM »

Sorry for your loss.

Sharkbelly · « **Reply #14 on:** November 07, 2020, 04:20:57 AM »

Very sorry to hear this. You have my condolences.

GamesPoet · « **Reply #15 on:** July 02, 2021, 12:36:36 PM »

My dad's funeral is being held today, and at a Veteran's Cemetery.

It is raining, perhaps it will break by the time the services are being held this morning.

Dad would have laughed about it, nature's way of mourning, at least it is a Friday and not a Monday.

And he would have be quite pleased that it was being held on July 2nd, the same day the Continental Congress voted to declare independence.

Gankom · « **Reply #16 on:** July 02, 2021, 04:38:03 PM »

Glad you can see the positive it in GP. Sending you good thoughts and vibes from Canada.

S.O.F · « **Reply #17 on:** July 03, 2021, 07:05:58 PM »

Hope it was a good and cathartic service for you sir.

Artobans Ghost · « **Reply #18 on:** July 04, 2021, 07:34:03 PM »

Definitely a good way to look at it GP!

Fair Winds and Following Seas

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Author Topic: Passing of A Loved One ... (Read 981 times)