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Author Topic: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle - The Legend  (Read 252595 times)

Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1775 on: August 01, 2008, 03:14:13 PM »
*yawn*

You can return to the cells, your bedroll is still there, but the interior decorators have already Queer Eyed the crap out of floors 3 through 5.  My penthouse is to die for!

McKnight, be a dear and go get the caviar from the ungor manning the fryolator.  He has some Ritz as well.  Yes, that will make a fine noontime meal.  You can have a few if you like.

Phew!  Ever since becoming the new High Inquisitor, I have felt this burning rash on my back where I got my new marks of chaos.  Siberius, see if you can't conjure up some ointment.

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1776 on: August 01, 2008, 03:46:18 PM »
Wyzer1 stopped existing and was taken over by Obi's girlfriend.

Wyzer1!!! Hit 70 yet?
:blush: maybe...

 :icon_rolleyes:
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Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1777 on: August 01, 2008, 05:50:06 PM »
"WHAT IN SIGMARS NAME IS THIS NONSENSE!"

A sigmarite priest with a kettlehat firmly planted on his head steps inside and looks around.

"You beast, may purchase whatever you like, but that does not make you inquisitor! I also found this ungor..."

An ungor head comes bouncing on the floor. In his forehead is a mark from Mathis hammer and if you look carefully one can see an imprint of letters saying: "Owned by Sigmar!!!"

"This fellow was running around with caviar, so I liberated it in the name of Sigmar and purifyed it in the holy fire. But it still did not prepare my for this... However, the vision of St. Rufas spoke truly to me, and I know must take the actions necessary."

"So in the name of Sigmar and our beloved protector St. Rufas the Everpresent I declare you all condemned to death by fire!"

A great silence falls upon the assembled, before a laughter begins, since no flames appear. Mathi grumbles something from underneat his kettlehat and walks out of the door.

A few seconds pass before a roar is heard as several barrells of the finest Nordland Tar, ignited by a Barrell of Bugman“s finest, goes off outside and flames catch the Chapterhouse.
Inside, beams that turns out to be from the holy Nordland timber suddenly spring ablaze.

Mathi take a zip from his keg of Bugman“s as he watch the fire from the porch of his church. He raise the keg in a toast.

"To you, Sigmar, Ulric and Rufas! I did it all for you!"

 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: Chapterhouse ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: with all inside ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::
Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!

Offline Siberius

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1778 on: August 01, 2008, 06:34:36 PM »
*stands next to PhillyT and Mathi and watches the blaze*


"So who are we burning in there?"

 :engel:
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Offline Dihenydd

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1779 on: August 01, 2008, 06:40:07 PM »
As the founding member of the Most Holy Sigmarite Righteousness Rivival (Reformed).  I'm going to have to take Mathi in for wanton destruction of good alcohol.

While we at the Revival (Reformed) do appreciate the over-zealous nature of using each and every advantage to win no matter how cheesy.  You failed to burn PhillyT and Siberius.  Therefore you failed.  Failure is not tolerated, and as such, you're flaming consumption of good Bugman's cannot be excused.

 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: Mathi  ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::

Let this be a warning.  Its ok to attempt to destroy, but you better succeed next time.  Half measures are not to be suffered.
Sometimes the "Old Ones" just need to leave.....

Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #1780 on: August 01, 2008, 08:48:16 PM »
"So who are we burning in there?"

*sigh*

"I have no idea.  Doesn't he know we have leveled up since the last time he put on that helmet?  I have people who can take care of the chapter house, and I am insured.  I supose we will just need to cash in the policy, testify at the arson trial of Mathi, and purchase the chapter house down the road."

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1781 on: August 01, 2008, 11:23:30 PM »
Levelled up, what kind of nonsense is that?

The flames leaves Mathi unscratched to the astonishment of Dihenydd and he walks down from the pyre.

"Ah, you can level as you like, but I was going to tell you I have some news for you. It seems as if your insurance company have gone down the drain. The Grand theogonist found suspicious dealing made with certain entities that no right beliveing citizen of the Empire would touch.
Because of that, the Emperor himself have declared all insurance treates nill and void and confiscated the company holdings for his own treasury."

Mathi looks at Phillys insurance papers and shakes his head:

"I am afraid those papers are not worth the very ink upon them. And as one of the Grand theogonist sworn warriors... I was on a training mission with Huss lately, even got to meet his Ulrician brother Biff by the way... I have also "levelled" up. Until next time, gentlemen!"

Mathi turns and walks away nonchalantly and they fail to see the trinket he has hidden in one of his sleeves. Mathi pushes a button, a whirl is heard and the ground beneat Philly, Siberius and Dihenydd erupt in flames.

"Damn, I am starting to like this!"

As Dihenydd flies skywards sheated in flames with a suprised look on his face Mathi shouts:

"Be careful when you burn people! Burning Sigmars chosens will only hit back at yourself, Padawan!"

 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: Philly         ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: Siberius     ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: Dihenydd   ::heretic::
 ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic:: ::heretic::

Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!

Offline HoS

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1782 on: August 02, 2008, 01:06:56 AM »
*Does a George Lopez imitation*

"Ooohhh no you DIDN'T!"
Gave into the WoW.

Offline curse

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1783 on: August 02, 2008, 09:20:32 AM »
Now where is that magazine...... Ah here it is, what was my "Beastmen Quarterly" Swimsuit edition doing in the Sigmarite Holy Inquisitorial Tabernacle?
Ah, hello PhillyT, who is that Mathias is burning? Going from his tirade I think he is under the assumption he is burning you. But if you are here looking at the succulent meatyness of Miss Gorgust, who is that at the stake...?
If they say I'm breaking WYSIWYG, I could always just say that my Griffon is a little inbred and has a few deformities.
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Offline Nicholas Bies

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1784 on: August 02, 2008, 11:03:00 AM »

mate Philly has been burnt so often and so well he's turned into charcol. Lets just say the members of S.H.I.T enjoy their meat well done.

sorry can't fight the urge...


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Offline KingPierce

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1785 on: August 02, 2008, 11:05:23 AM »
It's me you bastards!!!!! ::heretic:: I just asked to use the bathroom and they said I had to buy something but I had no money!!! ::heretic::  OOhHH what a world!!!
If I ever leave this world alive

Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1786 on: August 02, 2008, 12:29:39 PM »
Oh dear, it seems our poor Mathi has truly lost it, something about the water maybe.  Look, he even thinks he can read.  Everyone knows Warpriests are illiterate!  And he fried KingPierce for nothing.

When we get the new chapter house maybe we can convert one of the eastern chambers into a convalescents home.  Mathi can relax in luxury, away from matches and such.

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline HoS

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1787 on: August 02, 2008, 03:33:46 PM »
Warpriests are illiterate!

Warp-priests? Is that like a mix between Warplock Engineers and Plague Priests? MATHI IS A SKAVEN MUTANT.
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Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1788 on: August 02, 2008, 03:35:16 PM »
Could be, has anyone ever seen Mathi when the cats around?

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline HoS

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1789 on: August 02, 2008, 03:36:08 PM »
I dunno, seen Siberius lately?
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Offline Siberius

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1790 on: August 02, 2008, 04:58:39 PM »
Sorry, I've been away prepairing the ointment.

You have to squeeze a lot of halberdiers to get enough ointment for Philly's needs but I think you will find it sufficiently strong.
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Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1791 on: August 02, 2008, 07:22:06 PM »
Hmm...
I am certain there is a regulation about one not being allowed to call Warrior priests for warp-priest. As for cats... I say only this.

Mathi makes a swift move and lets out a mighty...

BAH!!!

in Siberius sensitive ears.

And beastmens should think twice about crying "mutant" towards others!  :dry:

As for burning Kingpierce, why should I not?

Was he innocent? :icon_neutral: Hardly, since he said he wanted to use the bathroom. Oldest trick in the book! So he was clearly guilty.
And even if he was innocent, it does not matter, since it proves nothing.
Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1792 on: August 04, 2008, 04:20:07 PM »
As for cats... I say only this.

Mathi makes a swift move and lets out a mighty...

BAH!!!

in Siberius sensitive ears.
Great, Mathi's whisper sexy-talk into Siberius's ears now...

Mathi, meet Phillyt. Phillyt meet mathi  :roll:
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Offline HoS

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1793 on: August 04, 2008, 04:22:59 PM »
They do deserve one another, don't they Wyzer1.

You know, back in my day we had Rufas and Wyzer and McKnight and our enemies were Midaski and people who said "Walter." I liked those days. The new management (phillyt) leaves something to be desired...
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Offline phillyt

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1794 on: August 04, 2008, 04:27:02 PM »
Siberius and I don't manage, we rule.

Phil
Where did she touch you Eight? Show us on the doll.

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1795 on: August 04, 2008, 06:38:03 PM »
They do deserve one another, don't they Wyzer1.

You know, back in my day we had Rufas and Wyzer and McKnight and our enemies were Midaski and people who said "Walter." I liked those days. The new management (phillyt) leaves something to be desired...

Yea... I agree HOS...



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Offline Midaski

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1796 on: August 04, 2008, 06:43:45 PM »
They do deserve one another, don't they Wyzer1.

....... and our enemies were Midaski and people who said "Walter."

I was never your enemy - if I had been you'd have been lucky to make Page 2.    :engel:

The easiest way to control and manipulate is to make sure you know exactly where the 'activists' are ...........

 :engel:

In fact I am somewhat disappointed that they Tabernacle has come to this - taken over by beasts, with the odd remnants of the real members more concerned with arguing with each other than defeating the common enemy ...........
....... seems like it has turned into a British political party ................. :icon_rolleyes:

 :engel:
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Quote
Metal to Finecast - It is mostly a swap of medium. 

You mean they will be using Ouija boards instead of Tarot cards for their business plans from now on?

Offline Gneisenau

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1797 on: August 04, 2008, 06:47:47 PM »
I laughed.

Next time I see Gordon Brown on TV, I'll check for Antlers and hooves.

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1798 on: August 04, 2008, 06:53:45 PM »
<-- Laughed too  :laugh:


To be fair the Inquisitors have pretty much always been more concerned with infighting and bickering. Uniting against the common enemy just isn't a plausible goal

Mainly because they have the edit button   :engel:




Hey, I don't want to be Mcnurgle  :biggriin:
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Offline Mathi Alfblut

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle <-- not Phillyts
« Reply #1799 on: August 04, 2008, 07:33:56 PM »
The rather desillusioned Sigmarite priest listen as Wyzer sings out the music and sighs:
"Yeah, somehow I felt that aswell. The inquisitors where more concerned with fighting each other and bickering. I belived that some stern sermons and spiritual guidance would forge them into the Malleus Maleficium they ought to be. But see where we stand, beasts running the show..."

"Ah, now the great St. Rufas cries tears in his heaven. But at least he can swing a pint with Ulric and Sigmar as comfort. Alas, the Inquisiton has faded."

Mathi walks over to his church and sits on the porch clearly depressed.

"Well, I guess I need to do a pilgrimage or something. Yeah. That sounds like the right thing to do. I shall seek out Luthor Huss and we go on a vacation trip somewhere and crush some heretics skulls together. Yeah, I need a break!"

Mathi rumbles around his church, fixing for a long leave. Then he nails a big note on the door.

"Vicar on vacation. Do not disturb! Cave..."

Then he dons his kettlehat, swing his haversack over the shoulder, the hammer over the other and walk away along the road. As he walks into the woods, he bash a pair of gors emerging with two casual swings. He does not turn around, he do not look back. He swing the hammer around once to shake away some brain substance and then he dissappear around a bend.


Oh, and remember GW made it personal, not you!