I have to say that this was a follow up to an earlier piece of speculative fiction:
http://www.warhammer-empire.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8454 but I felt it was a 'character' unlikely to be 'interviewed' by others?
The Empire Herald. Nearly Up the Front by
Ace War Correspondent – Hockley Dumpster
Whilst there has been a lull in the fighting, your intrepid reporter has ventured into the baggage train area to try and get a slightly different perspective of our brave soldiers.Hockley: “I am here with a lady who calls herself Titillating Tasha, and who has been a ‘supporter’ of the Count’s army for a while now – isn’t that correct Tasha?”
Tasha: “Why yes, - it is the least I can do for our brave boys, offer them comfort and kindness, and some relief from the stresses of battle.”
Hockley: “I understand that you are not a lover of the term ‘camp follower’?”
Tasha: “That is true sir, there is nothing ‘camp’ about me – I am all woman, do you doubt these are real?”
Tasha leans forward displaying an ample cleavage.Tasha: “After a hard day’s fighting our brave troops need to know that they can rest their weary bodies on something soft – like me, and if they need to relax and I am able to help them forget the traumas they have suffered for a few minutes by distracting them with my assets and skills, then I do feel that I am doing my bit for the cause.”
Hockley: “However Tasha I understand you do charge a fee for this comfort?”
Tasha: “Well fee is probably the wrong word – I do have to support myself, and it is quite difficult to keep myself looking attractive, and at my best for the boys, when you are constantly on the move from one battlefield to the next. I tend to refer to it as a maintenance donation.”
Hockley: “So Tasha, you must have met all sorts of different troopers – I am sure our readers would appreciate your unique perspective.”
Tasha: “Well you get all sorts – it’s remarkable how much energy some of them still have at the end of a supposedly hard days fighting, fair wear me out some of them can. Those pistoliers particularly, full of themselves about how they charged around the battlefield, and yet them young nobles are quite frisky, and pretty generous too. I do tend to pitch my tent near to the corrals if I can.
The smell of that blackpowder does something for a girl too you know.
Mind you one has to be careful, I got really screwed over by some cannon crewman one dark night, started whispering at the flap of my tent and I smelt the gunpowder, and sort of got carried away, then found the rogue had a only mere groat to offer.”
Hockley: “So you like the riders then?”
Tasha: “Oh no, not all of them – those knightly orders, you have to watch them – the time they take to get that full plate off otherwise they'd chafe all my delicate bits, and even then some of them special Templars, they are into all the special stuff – I tell them to go and see the flagellants.”
Hockley: “So Tasha do you ever get to meet the infantry from the front line”
Tasha: “Well yes I used to date a halberdier when I was a young girl, that’s what first took me to following the army.”
Hockley: “How romantic, and what happened to this fine halberdier?”
Tasha: “He was killed - in his first engagement – I was heartbroken, and then one of the regular ‘ladies’ took me to one side and warned me never to fall seriously for a halberdier – they may be proper regular state troops with more of the money, but they never last too long once they get to the real fighting.”
Tasha sighs wistfully: “Same with the spearmen to a lesser extent, they seem to survive a bit longer, I had a ‘regular’ spearman friend for nearly 3 weeks a while back, but they also tend to be a bit poorer, and they ain’t so concerned about their personal hygiene either.
Them Handgunners are a disappointment – they spend hours oiling their weapons, and then it’s all over with a quick bang. The militia guys are much the same, if they’re carrying a crossbow they seem to think they’re clever because they have special bolts, but I find them very unfulfilling, and the archers just lack penetration.”
Then a faint smile appears as Tasha continues: “Swordsmen, I like swordsmen though. Especially those who are experts with their weapons – I know a couple from the Imperial First who are particularly adept at the thrust and counter stroke.”
Tasha sighs again: “They wield their weapons so gracefully it is truly moving.
……….. and as for those Greatswords ……well …………..”
Tasha leans closer: “So Hockley, just how well does this reporting business pay? Have you got somewhere to stay tonight? …………… I’m sure I could find something to keep you warm……