Topic: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle - The Legend

[Perambulator]

  Umm you're not supposed to eat them after you burn them... cannibalism... umm... isn't that a Mark of Chaos...?!?   Ben Seib is tainted!!!! The Inquisition is Marked by Chaos!!!  Help! Help!!

[Nicholas Bies]

NO... I just taste them to make sure all the impurities have been burnt out. The taint of chaos still exists in the uncooked flesh see which gives me bad stomach cramps- it's how I know it's tainted.





*nice recover right?... no need to burn me*

[HighPriest Rian]

 
  Ben Seib
 

Just to be on the safe side ya know.. burn first and ask questions later

[Wyzer1]

Just to be on the safe side ya know.. burn first and ask questions later

 

Good man 

[warhammerlord_soth]

Burnings going on ?

Where do I light the pyre ?

[McKnight]

 - following the last Mid-Atlantic Bash jibes, it must also be particualrly galling that the Western European Two-Day Bash is now looking at an attendance of some 15 members.

And # 10 topic on the site now!
http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?action=stats


Oh and Rufas... I told you so..

[Perambulator]

I think you guys are due for an update to the original post. You've had quite a few burnings recently.

[phillyt]

One gentle push from my finger and you and the whole tabernacle are gone for ever .............

And thats for real!

Phil

[McKnight]

Rufas... Drop the case...

Either that or I'm forced* to ask you to leave the 'Nacle

*Forced by Midaski



*Crawls back behind Midaski*

[Mathi Alfblut]

Listen up, members of the Tabernacle.

Grand theogonist Volkmar have confirmed that while Midaski is no saint and have denied this state, he is nevertheless a most venerable leader in war against Chaos, a man of might, worthy of Sigmar. Since even the sun have spots, so must even Midaski have, since he is no saint, but that does not make him less venerable.
Hence, the name of our church is slightly changed, to The Church of the venerable Midaski.

Volkmar also expresses grave concerns about the Tabernacles attempt, and most of all by Rufas, too use the tabernacle for political aims, trying to level false accusation against Midaski, the great friend and ally of Karl Franz and our beloved Empire.

As Minister Arbites, it is my duty to place you under arrest, Rufas. And yes... Volkmar prescribed that you are tried and found guilty according to standard court procedure. You may skip your plea for innocense since you are obviously guilty. And even if you where innocent, it does not prove anything, anyway.
Then you are to be paraded through the streets, your crimes read aloud by heralds for the people to hear, and you are finally to be put to death using a method he heard about and found it might be worth a try, he called it trial by marshmallows...

Rufas, as I am a priest of Sigmar, and know that you is a man that will realize your sins and regret them, I feel I must show mercy and give you a more lenient sentence. So I shall skip the court, and the city walk. So in the spirit of mercy and mildness, and for the greater good, we shall burn you right here. Sigmar have mercy on your soul!

Bring forth the torch, Soth!

 
  Rufas 
 

[Rufas the Eccentric]

Listen you scrawny excuse for a mage/general - you don't summon me.

But I notice that you came anyway.

One gentle push from my finger and you and the whole tabernacle are gone for ever .............

The Inquisition is immortal.   If you burn it it will be rebuilt bigger and better than ever.  

The Chief Justices would throw your petition out anyway as you have summoned someone who I doubt even exists - what sort of scribes have you got working for you if you cannot even prepare the paperwork properly.

Your non-existence would be a source of great joy to the oppressed taxpayers of the Empire.  Certainly you can do better than this.

Actually I suppose "Lawyers R' US" is struggling at the moment:

Mommy!  Midaski is denigrating my profession again!  Oooh!  I can do better than that:
Q. Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste sites and New York have all the lawyers?
A. New Jersey had first choice.

- the property market has crashed in Nordland - all that sub-prime timber they use,

Timber prices are doing quite well now that we have established that Guillotine can't toast a proper marshmallow.

- Madame R's is probably struggling as most Marienburgers are wetting their knickers and too scared to raise a glass let alone anything else 

Your just jealous because you've been banned.  We've got 25000 kegs of Bugman's XXX in the cellar.

- you must fear for your well-being since Larry, Moe etc were turned into a stew.

Moe, Larry Curly and Shemp are alive and well.  You really should attend to Otto & Max.  I would not tolerate servants who lie so easily.  My Customer Service Ogres have traveled east to attend to some family business.  My last letter from Moe indicates that they intend to relocate their kin to Nordland to serve in Theodoric's Army (for a price).  They will be coming through Kislev and would be happy to pay respect to your ashes.
 

- you keep getting your ass handed to you by Suzy Dendo - you had better make sure you decline any challenge from Wiss' Wife, that would just be too embarrassing.

We stand at one massacre, two losses and a draw.  We will see what happens latter this month.  At least I don't wet my pants at the mention of Thorek.

Leave the lovely Mrs. Wissenlander out of this.  She will not be doing your laundry for the Mid-Europe bash.  Unless you provide first class tickets for two.

- following the last Mid-Atlantic Bash jibes, it must also be particularly galling that the Western European Two-Day Bash is now looking at an attendance of some 15 members.

A valid point. But one beyond my control.

- and finally I hear Two-Ton Sally has consulted Perambulator about suing you for defamation to the tune of $2 million as she insists she is and only ever has been 1.76 tons.

Sally knows this is just a term of endearment,  In reality she is only somewhat over 500 pounds excepting that incident with Cathayan food during the Nemesis Campaign.  However, your accusation that she is 1.76 tons is clearly actionable.

As to your pathetic accusations - I see no evidence that will stand up to any scrutiny.
Indeed it could be more easily interpreted either as a desire to see Sigmar himself rise again, or for a new hero of the Empire to appear and finally crush all our enemies and then ride off into the sunset and achieve his true recognition - a true Son of Sigmar.

In the context of the thread it is clear that you were not talking about Sigmar's return.  Indeed, any that know you for the egotistical, greedy, deluded, power hungry, megalomaniac you are can only interpret this phrase to express your secret desire to achieve divinity or more likely deamonhood.

Your assumption I was talking personally is twisting speculation to the limit and indeed I am somewhat disheartened that the Inquisition has not considered an internal investigation over this sort of sedition. McKnight seems to be the only one aware of the dangers, but you chose to ignore his warning of incurring my wrath. It's a pity certain other Inquisitors are so easily swayed by your insane rantings. I doubted its competence from the beginning and always felt that it was open to infiltration and corruption by evil forces.

Your longstanding feud with the Inquisition is merely a ploy to cover your tracks as you go about worshiping your chaos inspired deeds. You have clearly cowed McKnight, or as you refer to him as McNurgle. However, once you are safely burned we shall have him flogged and cut off his beer ration in order for him to do penance.

As it follows Sigmar is the only man ever to rise to divinity but is it possible that it can happen again ..........

I'm hoping it will .....................

Evidence that led to the summons.

For you, it's not enough that Mathi adores you as a saint?

...... but someone has to start the process off ..........

Further evidence of his divine/daemonic aspirations.

I did have some nightmarish visualisations. 

Often the first sign of possession by Chaos.

because I have two thumbs, 8 fingers and 4 very flexible toes ..............

Mutations hidden by his blue suede shoes.

Listen Beast Boy if he got hit by one of my guys with a magic sword he'd have some puss oozing from a wound .....

Possession of a magic sword from Nurgle.

(Midaski is just hoping there will be new marauder.. armies)

Evidence of his direct threat to the Empire.

but my 12 year old nephew has joined a club at his school and I found him some Chaos Space Marines buried in a drawer.

Evidence of ties to Chaos from beyond the planet.

Am I the only one who thought "Space Invaders"

Obviously related to the rumors of a invasion of these "Space Marines" next summer".  Also Evidence of Midaski's unusually advanced age.

Oh and McKnurgle needs to just to remind himself what the 'beer arrangements' are .....................

Evidence of Midaski's coercion of the brave McKnight

When the glorious forces of Kislev deign to visit Nordland this summer, we will be bringing our own superior timber with us, and you Nordlanders should remember you are just junior hangers-on in the League of Free Traders, and speak when you are spoken to, and jump when my Boyars give you orders ...............

We'll show you how good Nordland Timber is!

Lord Midaski, for you're foul crimes the Inquisition hereby sentences you to forfeit your Viagra ration, be flogged and burned upon the very finest Nordland timber.

Have a nice day! 

 
  Midaski 
 

It's Bugman time! 

[Mathi Alfblut]

Sorry Rufas, but it was already too late...

[Rufas the Eccentric]

Since even the sun have spots, so must even Midaski have, since he is no saint, but that does not make him less venerable. Hence, the name of our church is slightly changed, to The Church of the venerable Midaski.

Yet more evidence that the Inquisition has been penatrated by Midaski's minions.

Volkmar also expresses grave concerns about the Tabernacles attempt, and most of all by Rufas, too use the tabernacle for political aims, trying to level false accusation against Midaski, the great friend and ally of Karl Franz and our beloved Empire.

It is a sad thing that the minions of Chaos move among the highest circles.

As Minister Arbites, it is my duty to place you under arrest, Rufas. And yes... Volkmar prescribed that you are tried and found guilty according to standard court procedure. You may skip your plea for innocense since you are obviously guilty. And even if you where innocent, it does not prove anything, anyway. 

Then you are to be paraded through the streets, your crimes read aloud by heralds for the people to hear, and you are finally to be put to death using a method he heard about and found it might be worth a try, he called it trial by marshmallows...

I laugh at your Trial by Marshmallow
 

Rufas, as I am a priest of Sigmar, and know that you is a man that will realize your sins and regret them, I feel I must show mercy and give you a more lenient sentence. So I shall skip the court, and the city walk. So in the spirit of mercy and mildness, and for the greater good, we shall burn you right here. Sigmar have mercy on your soul!

Bring forth the torch, Soth!

 
  Rufas 
 
Sorry, You did not build the fire properly and left escapes routes.

Rufas... Drop the case...

Either that or I'm forced* to ask you to leave the 'Nacle

*Forced by Midaski

*Crawls back behind Midaski*

There there, Midaski's burned, now go back to your cell and flog yourself.

[phillyt]

Well, that Rufas is certainly persistant!  At least he isn't grovelling!

Cowards!  I'll be in the basement, hoping the flames don't burn through stone...

Phil

[Wyzer1]

Anyone heard the phrase, "History Repeats Itself" ?


Rufas, the Mcknurgle inccident wasn't that long ago... Surely you have no forgotten the unholy and gruesome fate that befalls all of Midaskis advisaries...


*sigh*

*pulls of chair to watch*

Fight!!!!!

[Amulus]

OK, this is sweet!  I join Midaski's faction!  I still have burn marks from Rufus burning me!  Revenge shall be sweet!

[Midaski]

Anyone heard the phrase, "History Repeats Itself" ?


Rufas, the Mcknurgle inccident wasn't that long ago... Surely you have no forgotten the unholy and gruesome fate that befalls all of Midaskis advisaries...

*sigh*

*pulls of chair to watch*

Fight!!!!!

I must admit to being tempted Wyzer (there's a free one to misquote  )

"Roughass the Burned" did come to mind, but I resisted .................. so far.

I must admit I am at a disadvantage as the affairs of the Lord Chancellor are keeping me a lot busier than someone who has the ridiculous amount of time at their disposal - the Nordland border trafficking business is obviously quiet   - to create such a monster post with so much trawling for supposed quotes taken out of context, but then what would you expect ........


memo to self - must ask Shadowwolf to create a 'shark' smiley grumpey .......

 

[Midaski]

 
 
   Midaski 
 
 

A quick prayer to Sigmar and all those beers bought on my tab are suddenly showered all over your sub-prime timber.

Now was that divine intervention, or what .............

 

[Wyzer1]

I must admit to being tempted Wyzer (there's a free one to misquote  )

Ah, a nice quote indeed... but I kind of like mine so Ill stick with it for awhile (especially with the recent 'update'  )

An interesting backfire, to be sure...

Roughass the Burned is nice and all, but I thought naming him rufus the eccentric would have an even greater effect.... 

[Midaski]

Ah well you see that would be a slur on my good friend rufus and all his valiant efforts, - to 'associate' his good self in any way with some cranky wizard.

I must admit that it occurs to me, as an outside observer, that many non-members of the Inquisition may be asking themselves why the Inquisition hierarchy - the Head Inquisitor(s) and officers - are not holding some sort of internal investigation into the behaviour of some of their members.

Indeed the 'Tabernacle' is becoming more like a true life political party everyday with dissent amongst the membership and the leadership being sidelined .................

I would have expected a 'three line whip' as they say in the British Parliament .............

 

[Nicholas Bies]

hmm I was needlessly burnt at the stake...



philly, crimson, siberius, notts. I offer my services to you and your masters.

[HighPriest Rian]

Nooooo this heresay is not acceptable!

I stand with Rufas, a proud member of the inquistion; a member who has proved his worth by burning many heretics; the member who has put forward a structured and logical arguement against Midaski!

And i tell younow, the Sigmarite Holy Inquisition shall never die. It does not exist as a body. but as a place within the hearts of each true inquisitor. While there is heretics, there will be an inquistion, no matter how much you try to disband it!

[rufus sparkfire]

Posting in blue text is clearly heretical, as well as being incredibly annoying.

Things Deemed "Heretical":

    * Spelling "War Altar" As either Walter, or War Alter. Waltar is acceptable although you will be treated with suspicion
    * Dressing as any of the characters from any of the games (aka LARPing)
    * Threadomancy (Instant "Marshmellow on a stick" treatment as Rufas so elegantly put it)
    * Calling Midaski "Grandpa"
    * Posting in colours other than the proper black
    * Bearing a Mark of Nurgle, Khorne or Tzeentch

Roughass the Burned is nice and all, but I thought naming him rufus the eccentric would have an even greater effect.... 

That would not be a good idea. 

I stand with Rufas, a proud member of the inquistion; a member who has proved his worth by burning many heretics; the member who has put forward a structured and logical arguement against Midaski!

Midaski is unassailable. Don't waste your time.

[Mathi Alfblut]

There is clearly a disturbing lack of faith here... as opposed to a to big reliance on logic! Now, Rufas, you was pretty cheeky there, but that escape proved you are truly a traitor. No honest follower of Sigmar, OR Ulric, would have feared facing the Gods judgement and absolution through death!
Your escape proves that you got something to hide and Highpriest Rian here has been fooled in his innosence to back you up. I am sorry Rufas, why did you have to condemn young Rian to this. The fault is all YOURS!
And Volkmar did order that all charges against Midaski be droped, and Rufas refused to take the consequences of his actions.

Rufas and Rian. I find you lack of faith disturbing...

And I got you right where I want you, two heretics on the same spot!

 
   Rufas
      &   
    Rian 
 

May Morr give you a cold wet spot, for that is the best offer you will get now after last escape. Yes, I know you where innocent, Rian, but that proves nothing.

[HighPriest Rian]

owwwies