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Author Topic: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle - The Legend  (Read 43908 times)

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #50 on: August 07, 2007, 11:15:08 PM »
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"I will have silence in the court! Rufas, please put down the crayons and pay attention, this isn't AIM for crying out loud!"

"The Third Inquisitional Court is now in session, in the case of The Empire Of Mankind vs Ina .. Iga .. Igelc .. Gunnar."

"Gunnar, you are charged with the incomprehensible crimes of: Trespassing on Public property, insulting the intelligence of the Imperial Army and consorting with the powers of chaos."

"Gunnar, how do you plead?"

Quote
Uh .. Not Guilty. It was my first post and I didn't mean it
"Unacceptable. Your youth will not save you from the damndable powers of the abyss. It is time to begin questioning"

"Where were you between the time of 03:45:00 AM and 04:00:00 AM"
Quote from: gunnar
Er, I at my computer...
"And what were you doing?"
Quote from: gunnar
I joined Warhammer-Empire.com and made a post, whic-
"How do you justify your remark of, "I am not am Empire player"?"
Quote from: gunnar
Im not but if you -
"And yet you found time to trespass on public property... Next question, You are guilty of insulting the Imperial Army."
Quote from: gunnar
Wait, that wasn't a question!
"Next you admittingly told of your acquantance with the powers of chaos"
Quote from: gunnar
Aren't you susposed to ask me questions?
"And admitted to being a witch"
Quote from: gunnar
I never admitted to that!
"Gunnar, you are guilty on all accounts. As dutifully suggested by our good member, Ostermarker, you are sentenced to be burnt at the stake"
Quote from: gunnar
WHAT!?
May your immoral soul find rest in the afterlife
Quote from: gunnar
Don't I get to call any witnesses?! YOU'RE MAD I TELL YOU
"Guards, take him away"

*Drags Gunnar kicking and screaming from the room*
*Loud scream in background*
*A robbed figure walks up and whispers in Wyzer's ear*

"Say what? What do you mean we have the wrong guy? His little brother made that post? ..."

*BANG* *BANG*
"Court is Adjurned!*
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline warhammerlord_soth

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #51 on: August 08, 2007, 05:51:43 AM »
I plea for further leniency. Instead of burning him at the stake, whe should burn him like a steak....
Have one  on Midaski's tab.  :::cheers:::
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Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #52 on: August 08, 2007, 11:30:01 AM »
Wyzer, that's not a proper way of running things. Inquisition is all good and well, and burning people too, but you need a trial first.



*cough*



It might be a faked one, but you need it.
That means: A judge, a prosecutor (who may not be the judge - we are supposed to be civilized!) and a defense attorney.

And I would be doubly carefull to condemn a man who comes from a country that provides us with cheap, self-assembled and mass-produced torture racks in happy blue and yellow.

ahrem...
The six holy principles

2 of the privilige to accuse, dispense judgement, declare anathema and excommunication

We dont need a judge, jury or even executioner....we have cut them off the budget...

Mr. Wyzer... I suggest we use the swedish person. Hedgehog Gunnar...is a cool name, you must admit... it made me laugh.
Now we could maybe use Mr. Gunnar. We could blackmail him to infiltrate his chaos cult and point out the leader so we may burn him... then we will...ehm clear Hedgehog's name and get good deals at the IKEA market for racks...
Or maybe we should just torture him for information...
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Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #53 on: August 08, 2007, 03:01:54 PM »
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"I will have silence in the court! Rufas, please put down the crayons and pay attention, this isn't AIM for crying out loud!"
Rufas puts the crayon down.

"What did I miss something?  Before you actually burn the boy I would like to make a brief statement in his defense.

With respects to counts 1, 3, & 5 the Court must have leniency on those for whom High Imperial is not a native language.  While, cause for suspicion, the Empire can only grow with the help of immigrants.  Before casting judgment, Wyzer1 (a name that also seems somewhat chaotic) should ask himself how he would fare on a Swedish forum?

With respect to count 2, his youth is surely the reason for this.  It is as he states, an an expensive army to build given the large number of figures required. He has at least taken the first step towards Imperial glory by signing up to this hallowed site.  We should be encouraging potential empire generals.

With respect to count 4, one must remember the level of corruption I exposed in the "Whom else do you serve and why?" thread *.  Many Imperial Generals admitted to serving Chaos, Mean Elves, and the Living Impaired.  While it is true that they were burned at the stake, they still seem to still be hanging around making posts and making the place smell like the kitchen of an Outback Steakhouse."  Hmmm... Others do it too. Not the strongest defense.  Try something different. 

" We would also like to point out that Herr Igelkotten Gunnar is from Sweden, a country that uses blue and yellow as it's national colors.  Visit any IKEA store near you to confirm.  These are the same colors as my beloved Nordland.  Surely given that it's the lad's first post, and he proudly displays the blue and yellow, the Court can show mercy on the poor lad.

The defense rests.

Well I did what I could lad.  They'll probably burn you anyway."   

* Edit, while not encouraging Thredomancy, I believe it is wise to inset a link to the thread that started this madness.
 
http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=15152.0
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 04:53:50 PM by Rufas the Eccentric »
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #54 on: August 09, 2007, 09:22:35 AM »

* Edit, while not encouraging Thredomancy, I believe it is wise to inset a link to the thread that started this madness.
 
http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=15152.0[/color]
Im not going that road, Rufas... we should blackmail someone to do it...
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Offline Guildenstern

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #55 on: August 10, 2007, 02:55:53 AM »
I have no idea about all this inquisition stuff and I'm not in the mood for reading both large threads. What I don't understand is why Threadomancy, which means that you answer to an old thread is bad.
A Forum can be like a big huge library. In my living history forum we have sometimes answers to questions 2-3 years later in a thread. Actually the policy there is not to start a new post if there is a similar thread. Though admins are merging and moving a lot of new opened threads if this issue was already discussed. I think this is wise!
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Offline Gargoyle

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #56 on: August 10, 2007, 05:48:47 AM »
There is nothing wrong with threadomancy unless you are a grognard.
Only Heretics use Black Powder.

An Armies of Arcana exponent. ;)

Offline Midaski

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #57 on: August 10, 2007, 09:54:30 AM »
I have no idea about all this inquisition stuff and I'm not in the mood for reading both large threads. What I don't understand is why Threadomancy, which means that you answer to an old thread is bad.
A Forum can be like a big huge library. In my living history forum we have sometimes answers to questions 2-3 years later in a thread. Actually the policy there is not to start a new post if there is a similar thread. Though admins are merging and moving a lot of new opened threads if this issue was already discussed. I think this is wise!

Good Point - I think threadomancy is for some reason viewed as an online no-no, which was something I found strange when I first started being active.
There is a certain contradiction, in my opinion, with "Use the Search" as you are encouraged to 'search' for any previous discussion of your subject of interest, and if you find a suitable thread which may cover most of your interest, but not all, you are chastised for resurrecting the discussion.

There was a discussion amongst most of the staff last year and we did agree we would treat each case on its merits -  if the 'new' post contributed something positive to the thread we would let it go.
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Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #58 on: August 10, 2007, 03:13:16 PM »
I have no idea about all this inquisition stuff and I'm not in the mood for reading both large threads. What I don't understand is why Threadomancy, which means that you answer to an old thread is bad.
A Forum can be like a big huge library. In my living history forum we have sometimes answers to questions 2-3 years later in a thread. Actually the policy there is not to start a new post if there is a similar thread. Though admins are merging and moving a lot of new opened threads if this issue was already discussed. I think this is wise!

Good Point - I think threadomancy is for some reason viewed as an online no-no, which was something I found strange when I first started being active.
There is a certain contradiction, in my opinion, with "Use the Search" as you are encouraged to 'search' for any previous discussion of your subject of interest, and if you find a suitable thread which may cover most of your interest, but not all, you are chastised for resurrecting the discussion.

There was a discussion amongst most of the staff last year and we did agree we would treat each case on its merits -  if the 'new' post contributed something positive to the thread we would let it go.

Hmm.. you have a point. I always considered it a bad thing, well, because everyone else considered it a bad thing...

I guess its ok... The time its annoying is when people respond to topics that are either no longer relevent (like, asking about stuff covered in 3 editions agos FAQ) or prior edition discussions
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Midaski

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #59 on: August 10, 2007, 03:21:24 PM »
The times it's annoying is when people respond to topics that are either no longer relevent (like, asking about stuff covered in 3 editions ago FAQ) or prior edition discussions.

Exactly, and when they put a short spammy message that adds nothing. Those sort of things are instant burnings. :icon_wink:

However as I said if it takes the existing thread off in a positive direction then it has to be a good thing.

B&P board will be the classic example - the painting blogs might well sit quiet for a month or two. The 'Greatswords' thread will run for a few weeks and then in 6 months time does someone add their pic to it or start a new thread?
My answer would be put it in the original thread - the whole point of that thread is that members can scroll through one thread and see lots of different 'takes' all in one place.
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You mean they will be using Ouija boards instead of Tarot cards for their business plans from now on?

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #60 on: August 10, 2007, 07:00:09 PM »
Thinking about Midaski's Trial by cake i thought i would post our other Trials and actions to get a confession.

Obtaining confessions by:

The Wirlig
A cylinder cage that can spin around. When in use, step away to avoid vomit

The Scold's bridle
Iron mask put on the subject's face with an iron spike that goes into the mouth of the subject, effectively gaggin him to ensure he does not cast spells or incarnations. Not for S&M use!

The wheel
large Wheel on a pole. Subject is strapped to the wheel and spun around.

Methods of trial and sentencing:

Trial by cake
The subject must eat three pieces of cake at the Altar, Sigmar's wrath will cause him to choke, if guilty.

Trial by fire I
Subject must walk ten paces while holding a hammer that has been set alight. If the hammer is dropped, the subject is guilty. If the subject completes the test (given his flesh is unharmed from the fire) he is innocent.

Trial by fire II
Subject must walk across red-hot pkoughshares without showing any sign of harm.

Trial by water
The accused must remove a stone from a larger iron pot of boiling water with his bare hands. If his skin shows any sign of damage he is found guilty.

Trial by Hammer I
The accused must stand upright with his arms stretched out forming a T shape, symbolizing the Ghal Maraz. To prove his innocense he must remain in this position for a lenght of time determined by the witch hunters.

My own:

Trial by Hammer II
Subject shall be beaten with a predetermined number of hits with a hammer blessed by a priest. If subject's flesh shows damage he is a witch.

Trial by Water II
Subject shall be bound and gagged and feet strapped to a large stone and lowered into a lake. If subject reemerges, subject is a witch.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 07:36:20 PM by McKnight »
"Me? I'm practically perfect in every way!"- Rufas the eccentric.
Rufas had Two Ton Sally. I have Silicon Sally!
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Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #61 on: August 10, 2007, 07:24:46 PM »
Good idea McKnight, Ill throw my hat in  :engel:

Trial by Fire 3:
Victim Supect shall be burnt at the stake: If Suspect survives, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly.

Trial By Flight:
Victim Supect shall be flown high into the air on a pegasus, and dropped. Should suspect fly away handgunner teams and hochland long rifle squads will shoot the witch. Otherwise suspect is innocent.

Trial By Cannon:
Victim Supect shall be shot at point blank by a cannon. Should suspect survive, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly. Alternative is to be shot out of a cannon, during a battle. Should suspect return, he is innocent

Trial Of Regeneration:
Victim Supect shall be de-armed, and de-legged. After four days if suspect re-grows limbs, he is a heretic and will be dispatched accordingly

Trial By Stake:
Victim Supect shall be placed in an iron maiden. Should Suspect survive, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly

Trial By Flogging:
Victim Supect shall be flogged and beaten for 20 minutes. Should suspect make any noise, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly.

 :roll:
« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 07:34:23 PM by Wyzer1 »
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Ostermarker

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #62 on: August 10, 2007, 07:29:33 PM »
Trial by Axe: The suspected has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off. so we burn him. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head.

So, Ostmarkers wear purple, but it's manly purple, not like that Bretonnian purple.

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #63 on: August 10, 2007, 07:39:06 PM »
After we have the confession we have the trials. Alternatively to the trials, we will establish a court of witch hunters, like done by Wyzer and give him a unfair court trial. This is only given to the most priviledged of our society.
The outcome of these courts may vary but usually they will sentence the subject in one of the before mentioned trials.
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Rufas had Two Ton Sally. I have Silicon Sally!
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Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #64 on: August 10, 2007, 07:41:39 PM »
And remember our code of arms: (lol)

1.) No going after administrators/moderators
2.) Try not to provoke administrators/moderators
3.) Try to completely avoid administrators/moderators
4.) Dont accuse adminstrators/moderators
5.) ...


Oh ya and some other crap like keeping it fun and being nice blah blah blah


P.S. I edited the main thread... a lot... so be sure to check it out!! Often!!
« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 07:59:54 PM by Wyzer1 »
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Midaski

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #65 on: August 11, 2007, 11:14:39 AM »

P.S. I edited the main thread... a lot... so be sure to check it out!! Often!!

As to this edit:  :icon_wink:

1. How can you spell the same word "Brethren" and "Bretheran" one under the other?
[I suppose it could be a sublimal fear thing as you expect your brothers to run at the first sign of trouble?] :icon_rolleyes:

2. Who's this 'member' Vlademere:icon_question:

[ Again a subliminal typing error indicating you may have your suspicions about him. :engel:]


3. Oh goody,  I see my position as Lord Protector has been confirmed and validated - Rufas will be going even greener than the morning after the night before at Madame R's.

 :smile2:
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You mean they will be using Ouija boards instead of Tarot cards for their business plans from now on?

Offline Veldemere

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #66 on: August 11, 2007, 11:55:52 AM »
I am pleased to say it is Veldemere not Vlademere, I have no links with Chaos (at least none that will be discovered)

Surely you are wrong with the trials listed above. Trial by fire consists of someone walking through fire if they come through unharmed they are using magics and should therefore be killed as a witch. If they burn to death then we were wrong and they can have a proper Sigmarite burial (lucky them).
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Offline Ostermarker

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #67 on: August 11, 2007, 12:13:28 PM »
I like the fact that I'm a member:
"So, Ostermarker, Wyzer1 joined through his devout religion, Rufas joined as a tax dodge, why did you?"

"I turned up on the first day, and now they're threatening to kill me if I leave."

*chuckles to self*
So, Ostmarkers wear purple, but it's manly purple, not like that Bretonnian purple.

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #68 on: August 11, 2007, 03:51:54 PM »
Lol Ostermarker that made me laugh
Well you joined the court trial... hence joing the ranks...
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Rufas had Two Ton Sally. I have Silicon Sally!
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Offline Vivendi

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #69 on: August 11, 2007, 08:09:15 PM »
Confession by Tickling: The suspect is being tickled, after ten minutes you stop and ask the information you want, doesn't he gives the correct answers within a minute, you start to tickle him again. Every person who doesn't affect it is a witch.
We worden geboren om te leven en leven om te sterven.

Offline Ostermarker

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #70 on: August 11, 2007, 08:13:50 PM »
There is the old Trial by Painful Torture  :-o  :x  :evil:  :ph34r:  :unsure:  :icon_evil:  :icon_twisted::

The accused is put under immense amount of painful torture, if they confess, the are obviously a witch. If they don't confess, will obviously, only a witch could take such painful torture without feeling the need to confess, so they're a witch.
So, Ostmarkers wear purple, but it's manly purple, not like that Bretonnian purple.

Offline Veldemere

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #71 on: August 11, 2007, 08:39:05 PM »
Is it just me that is truly sad enough to think of true tortures to prove the guilty heretics. The electrified chain mail undercrackers whilst watching an Angelina Jolie movie (Sigmar knows there is no reason to like the film).

I get a lot of results from that, if anyone is interested that is just the tip of a particularly dodgy iceberg.
Veldemere, Elector Count of Solland (Elect)
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Offline Sigmork

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #72 on: August 12, 2007, 03:03:36 PM »
The correct spelling of "War Altar" has NO "E"

If you spell it as Wer Elter do you get burnt three times? :? :?
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Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #73 on: August 12, 2007, 10:07:43 PM »
Trial by mechanical steed I
Subject must withstand a charge of a engineer's mechanical steed. If subject shows sign of damage, he is deemed heretic. If no damage is visible, the procedure will repeat once more in order to get more impact hits.

Trial by mechanical steed II
Subject must be able to tame a black mechanical stallion (autopilot removed) within the length of a period of time. If not tamed within given time, subject is deemed heretic.
"Me? I'm practically perfect in every way!"- Rufas the eccentric.
Rufas had Two Ton Sally. I have Silicon Sally!
EuroBashes attended: 1

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #74 on: August 12, 2007, 10:10:52 PM »
New case!

Our own Veldemere has betrayed us and performed the worst act of Thredomancy ever seen before.
http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=15.0
This cannot be tolerated!

As discussed in the Chaos Buddhism thread, Necromancy aka Thredomancy can be tolerated if it brings constructive things to the thread. Your case does not Herr Veldemere.

As you have already confessed your crime ( Reply #44http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=17647.25) this means that no means of torture will be necessary and we will skip directly to the trial.
Stated in 6 of our holy principles i must suppress any form of mercy, because you are a witch hunter. A worshipper of the old night, is a worshipper of the old night, nevertheless.

Provided to me is the power of 2. The power to accuse, judge and excommunicate. I will consider your trial and thereby fate. Consider yourself under lock and key. Our Ogre prison watchman, Bub the Gut with the Huge Butt, shall escort you to your new lodgings.
"Me? I'm practically perfect in every way!"- Rufas the eccentric.
Rufas had Two Ton Sally. I have Silicon Sally!
EuroBashes attended: 1