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Author Topic: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle - The Legend  (Read 71105 times)

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #125 on: August 18, 2007, 03:28:24 PM »
However, Mr FVC, with previous record of suspicion for devious activities, your sudden conversion becomes suspect- do you really believe in taal? Unlikely. You are using a less-regulated religion to hide your heretical, blaphemous and morally evil devil-worshipping behaviour.

I'm sure that with the hammer test, or the drowning test, or even the simple thumbscrew you will confess to the multitude of despicable crimes currently outstanding on display* at public locations** requiring immediate investigation*** by the inquisition.

You wound me with your accusations, Sir Guvnor. I shall gladly submit to the hammer test or the drowning test to prove my innocence, or even both simultaneously.

'Cause, you know, vampires don't tire nor do they need to breathe.
Nah... that would be too easy (and unprofitable...)

Instead, I suggest a sort of "fight club"... People can place bets that they think they can best our dear FVC, no matter the race (ogres are acceptable), and the surviver winner gets the money... Since you are under trial all proceeds go towards the Inquisition

The club starts immediately and will continue for a week  :icon_smile:
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Erwin Moltz

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #126 on: August 18, 2007, 03:55:58 PM »
I think you just broke the first two rules of fight club...is that a burning offense?
"the only good northmen is a dead northmen" - captain highberg

Offline FVC

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #127 on: August 19, 2007, 01:32:26 AM »
How can the winner get the money and all proceeds go towards the Inquisition? If I'm going to step into the pit of death I want to be sure I'm going to leave it an extremely wealthy man.

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #128 on: August 20, 2007, 04:50:16 PM »
How can the winner get the money and all proceeds go towards the Inquisition? If I'm going to step into the pit of death I want to be sure I'm going to leave it an extremely wealthy man.
nah, see you said you were ... extremely otherworldly powerfull

And instead of ramming a stake through your heart, you get to win the inquisition money, in return for going free

its a win win, you get to express your martial prowess (and survive) and we get money
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #129 on: August 20, 2007, 04:57:36 PM »
If I'm going to step into the pit of death I want to be sure I'm going to leave it an extremely wealthy man.

It matters not.  All the gold in the world will not buy you entry past the doors of Madame Rosalita's House of Delights
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #130 on: August 20, 2007, 04:59:03 PM »
If I'm going to step into the pit of death I want to be sure I'm going to leave it an extremely wealthy man.

It matters not.  All the gold in the world will not buy you entry past the doors of Madame Rosalita's House of Delights
?? Kind of "Out of Character" dont you think Rufas?  :laugh:

Maybe if he paid his way in you could finally pay your taxes! (lol, like that will ever happen)
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Midaski

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #131 on: August 20, 2007, 05:42:01 PM »
If I'm going to step into the pit of death I want to be sure I'm going to leave it an extremely wealthy man.

It matters not.  All the gold in the world will not buy you entry past the doors of Madame Rosalita's House of Delights

I am glad I was sitting down when I read that,  :dry:

with both nurses close at hand.   :engel:
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Metal to Finecast - It is mostly a swap of medium. 

You mean they will be using Ouija boards instead of Tarot cards for their business plans from now on?

Offline FVC

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #132 on: August 20, 2007, 11:56:06 PM »
It matters not.  All the gold in the world will not buy you entry past the doors of Madame Rosalita's House of Delights

There is more than one house of decadence and sin in the Empire.

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #133 on: August 21, 2007, 04:10:28 PM »
It matters not.  All the gold in the world will not buy you entry past the doors of Madame Rosalita's House of Delights

There is more than one house of decadence and sin in the Empire.
Technically 186... depends if the "Hafling House Of Special Interests" counts or not...

 :icon_eek:

oh dont worry, I went through them all with a fine-tooth comb to root out any heresy. Lets just say I didn't find any  :-D
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #134 on: August 21, 2007, 05:04:35 PM »
Technically 186... depends if the "Hafling House Of Special Interests" counts or not...
 :icon_eek:
oh don't worry, I went through them all with a fine-tooth comb to root out any heresy. Lets just say I didn't find any :-D
I can not think of anyone more suited for the  job.  Lord Midaski will expect a full report in the morning.  Due to his advanced age, his enjoyment in such matters can only be achieved vicariously.

We do seem to be getting off track.  It's been a full page since we've tortured or burnt anyone.  :icon_twisted:

Not that it's any of the Inquisition's business, but, trust me, you do not want to get on the wrong side of the six Halfling lasses.
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #135 on: August 21, 2007, 05:14:25 PM »
You have a point... its been awhile since we've done anything...

Perhaps everyone is scared of the inquisition?

Or perhaps we are lacking in our inquisitorial duties? NAH...

Alright, lets find another innocent victim servant of chaos to torch, whos the next lucky contestant on, "Who wants to be burnt at the stake!"
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #136 on: August 21, 2007, 06:11:29 PM »
Well the Skaven certainly has the tools to win. This is exactly the type of army Skaven can do well against.

I hope you will not be too offended, but i'm rooting for the rats :biggriin:

Ratarsed
I think we have the victim, er, I mean accused.  A Skaven sympathizer and a failure to use proper capitalization to boot.  I shall send the summons.  :engel:
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #137 on: August 21, 2007, 07:42:15 PM »
I request spies and agents send out to investigate the trash of this Chaosdreamer person: http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=17786.0
His name is undoubtly in connection with the Lord of Change..
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Offline Ratarsed

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #138 on: August 21, 2007, 07:57:37 PM »
Well the Skaven certainly has the tools to win. This is exactly the type of army Skaven can do well against.

I hope you will not be too offended, but i'm rooting for the rats :biggriin:

Ratarsed
I think we have the victim, er, I mean accused.  A Skaven sympathizer and a failure to use proper capitalization to boot.  I shall send the summons.  :engel:

Duly summoned I am here to beg for mercy and lenience.

It was early in the morning and I was doing my utmost not to rant about Gazzors hienous army (and you must realise what immence effort that takes :eusa_wall:), my concentration just lapsed for a moment. And then there are the voices in my head telling me cheese is good and all things must come in thirteen. I try to fight them, honest. I haven't touched a rat in nearly 3 months now but it is so hard and I am but a weak fool.

I lay prostate before the inquisition and await your judgment.

If I am to be burned I'm not available until next week but am willing to have my loyal assistant be put to the flames in my stead.

Ratarsed

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #139 on: August 21, 2007, 08:12:07 PM »
Duly summoned I am here to beg for mercy and lenience.

It was early in the morning and I was doing my utmost not to rant about Gazzors hienous army (and you must realise what immence effort that takes :eusa_wall:), my concentration just lapsed for a moment. And then there are the voices in my head telling me cheese is good and all things must come in thirteen. I try to fight them, honest. I haven't touched a rat in nearly 3 months now but it is so hard and I am but a weak fool.

I lay prostate before the inquisition and await your judgment.

If I am to be burned I'm not available until next week but am willing to have my loyal assistant be put to the flames in my stead.

Ratarsed
What's hienous about a Waltar, 2 Stanks, 3 Wizards and 4 great cannon?  Why, the list is a paragon of self restraint.  It is taking an "immence" effort on my part to refain from burning you here and now. (I could not help but notice that you did not bring the marshmellows like I asked.)  Your offer to let us burn your lackey in your place reminds me of something, but I just can't put my finger on it.  I will leave up to the Grand Inquisitor to pass judgement.  Your only hope is that he is one of those who believes Skaven to be a childrens "tail".
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #140 on: August 21, 2007, 08:33:57 PM »
The Inquisitorial Court is now in session! *BANG* *BANG*
I will leave up to the Grand Inquisitor to pass judgement.  Your only hope is that he is one of those who believes Skaven to be a childrens "tail".
Alright, Bring out the defendant!

Duly summoned I am here to beg for mercy and lenience
Quite your tongue! Now, unlike a normal court, you will actually be given a chance to defend yourself... Now, tell us what happend

It was early in the morning and I was doing my utmost not to rant about Gazzors hienous army (and you must realise what immence effort that takes :eusa_wall:), my concentration just lapsed for a moment.
True, it takes effort. And then what happened?

And then there are the voices in my head telling me cheese is good and all things must come in thirteen.
But wait, were you to like cheese, wouldn't you like Gazzors list? Shouldn't you be trying to rid the world of the mutant rats?

I try to fight them, honest.
Unacceptable. A true Sigmarite does not Try, he does, or does not. There is no "Try". This brings us to the second allegation again you. Is it true that you have been playing with rats, sexually?

I haven't touched a rat in nearly 3 months now but it is so hard and I am but a weak fool.
Absolutely sick and unacceptable. Please wait in the back room and await your judgement

I lay prostate before the inquisition and await your judgment.
Bring the defendent forward. You are hereby sentenced to be burnt at the stake

If I am to be burned I'm not available until next week but am willing to have my loyal assistant be put to the flames in my stead.
Fair enough, your assisisant is thereby sentenced to be burnt at the stake. Good day!

Ratarsed
Did you just insult my intelligence! Ill have your head!!!

*BANG* *BANG* Court is adjurned!
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #141 on: August 21, 2007, 08:50:52 PM »
Well I thought that went quite well.  But I could not help noticing that we forgot to torture him.

I was wondering if we couldn't have the name of the condemed assistant prior to the burning. 

Queek!
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Ratarsed

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #142 on: August 21, 2007, 10:24:55 PM »

Offline Veldemere

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #143 on: August 22, 2007, 02:09:38 PM »

If I am to be burned I'm not available until next week but am willing to have my loyal assistant be put to the flames in my stead.
Fair enough, your assisisant is thereby sentenced to be burnt at the stake. Good day!

Ratarsed


This sounds perfect, we should always do this. Whenever we are to burn someone we should burn their loyal assistant first as a sort of prologue / teaser sequence. If they put on a suitably good show we use dry wood and a stake that doesn't leave splinters for the main event.

2 for the price of one or BOGOF if you prefer!
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Offline clausewitz

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #144 on: August 23, 2007, 06:56:27 PM »
Wyzer, I fear that you may have a doppelganger or impersonator...

I was playing against my own army with a chaos army, and it took me 3 turns of repeted bashing to take it down. I was attacking it with a beastlord with a chaos runesword (big weapon of death) and a chosen chaos knight squad...

After all, surely our esteemed leader of the w-e inquisition could not possibly be consorting with the ruinous powers!

I fear your impersonator may also be contaminated with the malaise of the round base from his use of the word squad.

I have every confidence that the inquisition will sort this matter..  :engel:
I fought in the NC war.. and all I got was this lousy sig...

Offline McKnight

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #145 on: August 23, 2007, 07:12:27 PM »
Meanwhile at the inquisitional office.

"Oh Sigmar's grace what has he done!?
Wyzer is going to bring everybody down with him!

I gotta erase my tracks!...
*Starts shredding papers*

Unless....i could take him down and i would be the hero... and high inquistor...

Bub the gut with the huge butt! fetch my cloak, pistol and hat!... oh and bring me some coffee, its going to be a long night!

*Starts digging dirt out from Wyzer's past*
"Me? I'm practically perfect in every way!"- Rufas the eccentric.
Rufas had Two Ton Sally. I have Silicon Sally!
EuroBashes attended: 1

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #146 on: August 23, 2007, 07:45:30 PM »

Queek!
And I thought we had kissed and made up  :Ohmy::blush: :smile2:
Ratarsed
We have.  However, you may have problems with the Grey Seer of Warhammer rules, the esteemed Mr. Queek. 

I categorically deny putting any words in your mouth.  :engel:
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .

Offline Wyzer1

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #147 on: August 23, 2007, 09:58:52 PM »
Wyzer, I fear that you may have a doppelganger or impersonator...

I was playing against my own army with a chaos army, and it took me 3 turns of repeted bashing to take it down. I was attacking it with a beastlord with a chaos runesword (big weapon of death) and a chosen chaos knight squad...

After all, surely our esteemed leader of the w-e inquisition could not possibly be consorting with the ruinous powers!

I fear your impersonator may also be contaminated with the malaise of the round base from his use of the word squad.

I have every confidence that the inquisition will sort this matter..  :engel:
Uh... you have it all wrong!

My friends parents named him "I" (weird I know). We sometimes refer to him as "me" as a joke   8-)

Meanwhile at the inquisitional office.

"Oh Sigmar's grace what has he done!?
Wyzer is going to bring everybody down with him!

I gotta erase my tracks!...
*Starts shredding papers*
My rockfest tickets! Ill have your head!

Unless....i could take him down and i would be the hero... and high inquistor...

Bub the gut with the huge butt! fetch my cloak, pistol and hat!... oh and bring me some coffee, its going to be a long night!

*Starts digging dirt out from Wyzer's past*

... You spelt Inquisitor wrong ...

Ah, fair McKnight. I like your passion and motivation, and I know you were only looking out for the best interests of yourself the Inquisition... but fear not! I have not lapsed into the realms of chaos yet

Now, back to burning those who oppose the dark gods Sigmar! Well, maybe later... Lets go to Madam Rosalitas (Its good to be da Inquisita)
Long time Wood Elf and Empire player with newly acquired High Elves

Offline clausewitz

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #148 on: August 23, 2007, 10:39:05 PM »
Wyzer, I fear that you may have a doppelganger or impersonator...

I was playing against my own army with a chaos army, and it took me 3 turns of repeted bashing to take it down. I was attacking it with a beastlord with a chaos runesword (big weapon of death) and a chosen chaos knight squad...

After all, surely our esteemed leader of the w-e inquisition could not possibly be consorting with the ruinous powers!

I fear your impersonator may also be contaminated with the malaise of the round base from his use of the word squad.

I have every confidence that the inquisition will sort this matter..  :engel:
Uh... you have it all wrong!

My friends parents named him "I" (weird I know). We sometimes refer to him as "me" as a joke   8-)


I see Wyzer.  And did you get legal advise from Rufas before you made that response?

Because that excuse has more holes in it than Queek's skirting board.  :laugh:

[Edit: Yet more evidence!]
I usually run him with a laurels of victory, sword of power and a mark of tzeentch

Its been awhile since I have used him though, I prefer to use the new Arch Lectors (like everyone else nowadays...) They are just a little more tactically versatile
« Last Edit: August 23, 2007, 10:49:35 PM by clausewitz »
I fought in the NC war.. and all I got was this lousy sig...

Offline Rufas the Eccentric

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Re: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle
« Reply #149 on: August 24, 2007, 03:00:05 PM »
I am shocked, shocked I say to find the coruption of chaos right here at the Sigmarian Holy Inquisitorial Tabernacle.  I insist that everything be above board and honest as the day is long.

Quote
Here are your earnings from the Indulgence scam, your Lordship.
says the Pink Goblin.

Er, right.  Place them in the vault near the waterlogged timber supplies.
« Last Edit: August 24, 2007, 05:46:37 PM by Rufas the Eccentric »
Sigmar on a sling, the stuff some people come up with. . . .