Author Topic: WH Story opening  (Read 808 times)

Offline AldebrandLudenhof

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WH Story opening
« on: January 23, 2005, 09:50:10 AM »
I'm not absolutely sure where to post this but here seems most sensible as it's about DoW not the Empire. I would like to have some of my writing read properly....I got a handful of replies back from when I posted it on CoL, but not much.

I wrote this....wow over a year ago now....I did it when I should have been on work experience but broke my leg and so had free time on my hands....it's based on a campaign I ran just before (I have quite a bit of experience as a campaign GM).

Anyway...WH writing isn't my favourite subject matter but....here it is, please comment :)


   Giovanni fought the noise reverberating in his ears, screwing up his eyes and trying to re-enter his dreams, but the coarse bellowing, so harsh and uncouth compared to the peaceful tranquility of silent rest, gripped him, and tore at the mistiness he sought to hide behind.Reluctantly submitting to the inevitable he opened his fuzz-dimmed eyes and let the bright light pierce him with illuminating beams that showed up the dust in the air, as it glanced through the rickety shutters, their paint curling off in neglect.Suddenly the light crashed in an unstoppable assault, and groaning Giovanni turned from the open windows.
   "Wake up you fool, we have to leave, now", said Pietro, who was blustering about in a manly yet sprightly way, shoving Giovanni with his foot as he walked back past from the window.
   Giovanni was struck by the bare floor that he lay on, its splintered bumpy surface a less than adequate companion for his aching limbs.Slowly scrabbling up, he moodily but passionlessly kicked away items in the vicinty by a foot or so each.He snatched up his cards and a few other belongings into a bag, and put on his belt.He remained slouched, and his arms drifted, ape-like.
   "You don't have to talk so loud", whined Giovanni, "it can't be that late".He stretched his arms half heartedly."Isn't there a side door?"
   "No there isn't.We're going to have to go over a few roofs.The rest have gone, as doubtless you have failed to notice Have this".He tossed Giovanni a piece of stale brown bread.
   Giovanni missed the catch.
   Several oaths upon his lips, he fiercely snatched the bread from the floor and tore a piece out.His head ached and he felt disorientated and uncoordinated.
   "By Lianna, I could do with some water", he muttered quite audibly.
   "There's water on the side, though it's dirty".
   "No matter", stated Giovanni.He walked over doused his face, and glared out at the city of Terrano
   "Ready?", enquired a disinterested Pietro, as he gathered his belongings and set himself ready.
   Giovanni adjusted his belt, slung his bag over his back, stuck a short sword in his belt, and grunted without enthusiasm.He trudged out after Pietro.

   Ouside in the hallway, littered with broken bottles and draped in dust and cobwebs, was a ladder, with only a few rungs missing.Pietro took this with an ease belying his seemingly sluggish and thin limbs, and placed it through a hole in the cracked plaster ceiling.Without a word he clambered up gingerly, followed by the somewhat unenergetic Giovanni.As soon as Giovanni got up, Pietro liftted the ladder again, and he placed it up through a hole in the roof through which blue sky was visible.As he progressed onto the roof, Giovanni took a half glance around the roof space.It was boarded, badly, and had a few boxes in some corners.Then his roving eye hit on something.The blunderbuss woke up Giovanni, who considered it professionaly.Imperial make....Butt a bit chipped but serviceable.....nice barrel....and some shot lying beside it too....
   "Hurry up!", hissed Pietro.
....but that's nothing a bit of polish couldn't clean up, and I bet that could do some carnage in the.....
   It dawned on Pietro why his companion had halted.
   "Leave it alone you idiot!What if we want to stop here again!Get up here and wake up!"
   Trying to blot out the thought of the blunderbuss, Giovanni regretfully shook himself and climbed up slowly, like a weight pulled him irresistibly back down the hole.His mind cleared immediately when he got up.The ladder was thrown down so that it fell through the first hole to land clattering in the original hall.The loud bang as it hit the floorboards echoed up and down the five storey block.
   "We're going this way.Keep low."
   The two men edged along, hiding behind the brick rim at the edge of the pantiled roof.Men's voices could be heard in the street below, calling and replying to one another.The voices sounded irritable, and were increasing in number as running feet could be heard.
   Neither man spoke a word.
   The clamour of street life rose up, the calls of beggars, old women, merchants, and shrill children's voices, permeated  the air so it was a dusty warm blanket of lively dischorded sound.
   Without a whisper, Pietro set off.He ran lightly and low, and with a sudden spring on the edge his perfect timing saw him land perfectly, cat-like, on the far roof.His thin form would have looked dramatic had any watched from the far side, as it passed over the wide sun that etched out the flexes in his muscles.His long knife flashed in the light.
   Giovanni's turn.He didn't break sweat, his face briefly contorted, then relaxed, as it fell flabbily about his skull as he sprinted hard.The sound of their persuers entering downstairs rebounded from his closed ears.He smacked the edge and flung his weight, splaying out stylessly.
   The next he knew was the jarring on his knees.He rolled forward, and was pulled down roughly by the back of the shirt by Pietro, grazing his bare elbows on the coarse tiles.The noise was loud but was drowned out by the tumult below and went unnoticed as the guardsmen stormed into the now vacated premises.
   Pietro clutched his arm and swore violently.
   "That wasn't  a very nice word Gio, I'm sure your Mama wouldn't approve."Pietro grinned widely.
   "Mama better get used to it then.Those tiles bite."
   The pair then crossed the city, heading toward the south gate.They clambered through several workshops and disused buildings, and came down in an empty alleyway.Giovanni stole an orange on the way.
   "It reminds me of home, this", he said.His head was clearer now, but he remained grouchy.He spat it out.
   "What did you do that for?"
   "I told you.Reminded me of home."The two smiled wryly.
   "Ok, we're near the gate.Who first?"
   "Be my guest."
   Pietro walked casually into the main street.He sauntered along and walked straight past the dozing guardsmen.About half an hour later, Giovanni followed him.
   "Hey, early for a siesta isn't it?", he tauted at one guardsman, who looked up surprised, then muttered.Giovanni grinned at him and walked off to the camp, a mass of tents in various stages of being packed up.A group of men he recognised stood by the road a few hundred yards away, and he made for them.