Topic: Unhappy Random thoughts...

[Auberoun]

Quick change of gears, so we can avoid the otters again

We have to move house in 3 weeks and we are nowhere near packed...or ready.
I had "unexpected" eye surgery this last Friday, to remove a growth under my lower eyelid.  Good thing recovery is not that long...

And CoD has found a use for the word lutrophobia...
Which is good considering he used to have rhinophobia (the fear of noses)

[Cannonofdoom]

Quick change of gears, so we can avoid the otters again

We have to move house in 3 weeks and we are nowhere near packed...or ready.
I had "unexpected" eye surgery this last Friday, to remove a growth under my lower eyelid.  Good thing recovery is not that long...

And CoD has found a use for the word lutrophobia...
Which is good considering he used to have rhinophobia (the fear of noses)

I also suffer from hippopotomonstrosequippedaliophobia (the fear of long words).

[Auberoun]

nice 

[der Hurenwiebel]

I suppose that makes more sense than napiphobia (the fear of turnips) 

[red bull]

I think he's also got anatidaephobia. (the fear that somehow, somewhere a duck is watching you)

[Auberoun]

As long as anyone who reads this thread doesn't have phobophobia.

[Moxer]

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

[red bull]

Cue evil laighter, MWAH HA HA HA HA.

[Cannonofdoom]

Better that than Coitophobia.

[Auberoun]

Right now I have ergophobia...
Work has been an absolute nightmare with whiny guests, overbooked hotel, things not working right, and stress level at an all time high before I came to work...

[stretch_135]

I'm thinking of leaving my girlfriend of two and half years for another woman. The Charlie Foxtrot that's coming up with that one is sure as hell an unhappy thought.

[Auberoun]

I'm thinking of leaving my girlfriend of two and half years for another woman. The Charlie Foxtrot that's coming up with that one is sure as hell an unhappy thought.

Ouch...that is one unhappy thought, if it makes you feel any better, I have thought quite a bit about having an affair after being married for 7 years...but I don't want to be "that guy".  And, at the risk of sounding "like a woman"  it is about feeling a connection with someone, and knowing they actually care about you without biting your head off/critising you every chance they get...but, enough about my problems...

I would say, think hard about what each woman provides for you, and how you feel about them.  then make an  decision based on that. 

Is it better to be miserable for a short time, then happy, or be miserable for the rest of your life?  (Unfortunately, I think I sometimes chose the latter.)

[stretch_135]

Ouch...that is one unhappy thought, if it makes you feel any better, I have thought quite a bit about having an affair after being married for 7 years...but I don't want to be "that guy".  And, at the risk of sounding "like a woman"  it is about feeling a connection with someone, and knowing they actually care about you without biting your head off/critising you every chance they get...but, enough about my problems...

Well, good news that I'm not the only one. Sorry to hear things aren't working out for you 

tl;dr: stretch is b*tching. Colourful comments to follow

I've been with this girl for two and a half years, and I'm always feeling like she's trying to change me. It's mostly just little things, but I can't help get the feeling they'd be bigger ones if she thought she could get away with it. Then there's the other things....she's got all these plans of being married by 23 (three years from now), two kids and the house by 27...meanwhile, I haven't decided what country I intend to be living in, let alone what state. Nor am I particularly taken with the idea of multiple kids. Hell, I'm a cat person who hates dogs, and she's a dog person who's allergic to cats.

I've talked to a few friends about it, and the overwhelming theme there is end it/we knew it was coming. Hmm. I'm yet to have anyone even try to convince me that things'll work out. I talked it over with one of my friends over a couple of drinks the other night...she's something like 10/10 for predicting these sort of things (yeah, hardly the most reliable option) and she told me she'd known it would end up like this two years ago. Woot. We then proceeded to debate the merits my "perfect" girl would have...she unknowingly described this girl from work. You know, who I've been checking out for 6+ months. *sigh*

So now I'm kinda debating where to go with this. I'm venting on an Internet board (thanks to whoever makes it through this far) and I'm talking to a mutual friend of the work girl at work to find out if she actually has a boy friend (which interestingly has never come up. Damnit.)

[wissenlander]

My experience as an outsider on this is that if someone has a rigid plan in life and aren't willing to change that plan (married at a certain age, kids at a certain age) then it usually leads to mega problems.  If the plan is more important than what is actually happening in life then that's not good, IMO.  It's fine to have that plan, but an unwillingness to relent from that path for a little while is just bad news.  Both parties have to agree to it, and unfortunately sometimes reality tells you that you may need to hold off another year or two on something (or move even faster in some cases).

I'm not sure of your total situation, Auberoun, but I applaud your restraint.  I know that can be tough.

[Obi]

Oh boy, that's tough my friend from oz. I think what wiss said is a good way to look at things.

One note though: it's IMO a shame you'll might leave your current GF for another woman, it'd be better to just break up. Makes you look less of a douchebag, but I guess that's not really an option

And remember: all things end badly. Otherwise they wouldn't end.

[Midaski]

You don't say how old you are Stretch - I mean if she's 20 and you're 50 then whayhey .......... 

No seriously  -  way too young.
Women Girls change a lot around 22/23.

Generally I think up to then they look for a bloke to show them a good time, then the hormones kick in and they are looking for someone who will be solid 'nest-making' material.
Sometimes they don't realise there is a difference and expect laid-back-Larry to turn into MR Super-Salary-Sammy overnight. 

I was 33 before I got married - 36 for the first son.
Plenty of time to experience all sorts, and then ready to settle.

I do believe that the decision to marry encompasses being ready for family - you are stating that this is the woman you will be happy to have children with and that means it is for the long term.

[Cannonofdoom]

Hell, I'm a cat person who hates dogs,

Well, there's your problem. You're not a real person.   

[Gneisenau]

I've been with this girl for two and a half years, and I'm always feeling like she's trying to change me. It's mostly just little things, but I can't help get the feeling they'd be bigger ones if she thought she could get away with it. Then there's the other things....she's got all these plans of being married by 23 (three years from now), two kids and the house by 27...meanwhile, I haven't decided what country I intend to be living in, let alone what state. Nor am I particularly taken with the idea of multiple kids. Hell, I'm a cat person who hates dogs, and she's a dog person who's allergic to cats.

I've talked to a few friends about it, and the overwhelming theme there is end it/we knew it was coming. Hmm. I'm yet to have anyone even try to convince me that things'll work out. I talked it over with one of my friends over a couple of drinks the other night...she's something like 10/10 for predicting these sort of things (yeah, hardly the most reliable option) and she told me she'd known it would end up like this two years ago. Woot. We then proceeded to debate the merits my "perfect" girl would have...she unknowingly described this girl from work. You know, who I've been checking out for 6+ months. *sigh*

Sounds like you are in a relationship with a possessive girl and have a crush on somebody else.

Scratch that. 6 months in the same workplace and you still are interested? Sounds like a bit more than a crush.

Don't stay with a girl just out of laziness, or because you shy from the confrontation...

[Feanor Fire Heart]

Just finished watching the "children of dune" and I am not sure how I feel about the ending.  Its like it culminated to a big finish...but then it was a small finish.  Was still fun but the ending made me feel like nothing was really, you know, resolved.

[stretch_135]

Hell, I'm a cat person who hates dogs,

Well, there's your problem. You're not a real person.   

:p

You don't say how old you are Stretch - I mean if she's 20 and you're 50 then whayhey .......... 

No seriously  -  way too young.
Women Girls change a lot around 22/23.

Generally I think up to then they look for a bloke to show them a good time, then the hormones kick in and they are looking for someone who will be solid 'nest-making' material.
Sometimes they don't realise there is a difference and expect laid-back-Larry to turn into MR Super-Salary-Sammy overnight. 

I'm 22; my girlfriend's 20. Work girl is 24. Shouldn't this all be the other way around?

Oh boy, that's tough my friend from oz. I think what wiss said is a good way to look at things.

One note though: it's IMO a shame you'll might leave your current GF for another woman, it'd be better to just break up. Makes you look less of a douchebag, but I guess that's not really an option

I think I was just insulted :p

Sounds like you are in a relationship with a possessive girl and have a crush on somebody else.

Scratch that. 6 months in the same workplace and you still are interested? Sounds like a bit more than a crush.

Don't stay with a girl just out of laziness, or because you shy from the confrontation...

I think you might have just summarised the whole thing in two sentences. Well played 

However, there's always the qualifier that I never rush into anything. 6 months is relatively normal...especially since I've spent a bit of time getting to  know her friends.

[Warhammer-Weib]

I'm talking to a mutual friend of the work girl at work to find out if she actually has a boy friend (which interestingly has never come up. Damnit.)

I am not sure whether basing your decision on the question whether work girl has a boyfriend or not is the right thing to do.

First question should be: Do you feel at ease with your current girlfriend or not / can you imagine a happy long-term relationship with her or not?
If you do not feel at ease with her, it wouldn't be fair to waste your and her time anyway, irrespective of work girl being single or not.

[stretch_135]

I'm talking to a mutual friend of the work girl at work to find out if she actually has a boy friend (which interestingly has never come up. Damnit.)

I am not sure whether basing your decision on the question whether work girl has a boyfriend or not is the right thing to do.

First question should be: Do you feel at ease with your current girlfriend or not / can you imagine a happy long-term relationship with her or not?
If you do not feel at ease with her, it wouldn't be fair to waste your and her time anyway, irrespective of work girl being single or not.

Oh, I'm not basing it solely on that. It's simply a factor in the decision.

And no, I'm not really envisaging long term any more. The vast difference in life goals really seems to have done it in 

[warhammerlord_soth]

I just played my first game in 8th edition.
 
  Turn 3 : His entire army (WoC) gone, mine not a single casualty.

[Gneisenau]

How is that an unhappy thought?

[warhammerlord_soth]

I don't want to be the new Daemons. If winning does not take effort, where's the fun ?