Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle - The Legend

[Wyzer1]

In loving memory of our good friend Rufas

Sigmarite Holy Inquisitiorial Tabernacle

After an entertaining trip through a couple other threads, and losing numerous forum members to ... being burnt to a crisp by Rufas's torch ... along with a brief thread-hijacking and discussion with McKnight, I thought it was high-time we worked out an "Unofficial" Inquisition on this grand site, to prevent any unnecessary burnings

Wyzer1 - Constantly getting harassed by peons...

McKnight, Valdemere, dWhisper, machine-child, Ostermarker, Guvnor, Helblaster_Of_Sigmar, lonearcher, Doop123, warhammerlord_soth, Helborg, blind knight, Obi, Alexander de Wissont, Ben Seib, Mathi Alfblut, HighPriest Rian.

Members and Positions:
Inquisitor Levels
High Inquisitors: Boss In General of the Sigmarite Holy Inquisitorial Taberacle of Solace
Wyzer1
Inquisitors:
  Vlademere, dWhisper, dWhisper, machine-child, Ostermarker, Guvnor, lonearcher, Helblaster_Of_Sigmar, Hochland Hero, warhammerlord_soth, Helborg, Obi, Mathi Alfblut, HighPriest Rian, Alexander de Wissont, blind knight, Ben Seib, HighPriest Rian
Poo Bucket
  McKnight

Inquisition Positions
Minister Arbites of Smiting Heretics
Malthi Alfbut
Investigations: Secret Heresy Investigation and Torture
Alexander de Wissont
Public Relations: Public Relations Inquisitor of Care and Karma
  Helblaster_Of_Sigmar, lonearcher
Executions: Sigmarite Holy Inquisitorial Tabernacle Head of Executions And Dismemberments
  Doop123, warhammerlord_soth
Deputy Inquisitor Sworn To Undo Rather Bad Evil Dudes
  Lone Archer

Order of conduct!

A new order of conduct for all inquisitors has been taken into effect. Recent events have forced the Head inquisitors to reorganise the secret servants of Sigmar.

All members of this order must follow the code or be expelled from the Holy Order of Sigmar and either repent their actions and join the ranks of flaggellants or be dishonourably discharged.

Here is the code

* Being a Sigmarite Holy Inquisitor means that all the following rules apply to you.

* The Order is a secretive order that only strikes when evidence is acquired. Evidence of heresy must be gathered before trial.

* The order does not support rouge actions of inquisitors. All suspicions must be reported in This thread with proper reference.

* Only High ranking officers are allowed to confront moderators about heresy.

* Spamming in the tabernacle is NOT allowed!

* Retain a high quality of posts in the tabernacle.

Members On Probation:

Suspects
Rosencrantz - Crime: Minor Case Of Threadomancy and Unnatural knowledge of the forces of Chaos (http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=16250.msg202195#msg202195)
Joey - Crime: Building a Full-Sized Dreadnought and Wearing Marine Armor (http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=17567.0)
Garan - Crime: Using a two steam tank/War Altar list and spelling War Altar as, Walter. (http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=16196.0)
masterengineer - Crime: Plotting to assassinate Empire religous and state figures (http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=17511.msg202197#msg202197)
Mark Perry - Plotting to use two gods on a single war altar
kiron(1) - Crime: Threadomancy (http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=14806.msg201247#msg201247)

Burnt to a crisp:
Crimsonsphinx  ::heretic::
Spiney  ::heretic::
Captscott  ::heretic::
Gargoyle  ::heretic::
patsey02  ::heretic::
Gneeisenau  ::heretic::
Phydox  ::heretic::
Pojni  ::heretic::

Things Deemed "Heretical":

• Spelling "War Altar" As either Walter, or War Alter. Waltar is acceptable although you will be treated with suspicion
  
• Dressing as any of the characters from any of the games (aka LARPing)
  
• Threadomancy (Instant "Marshmellow on a stick" treatment as Rufas so elegantly put it)
  
• Calling Midaski "Grandpa"
  
• Posting in colours other than the proper black
  
• Bearing a Mark of Nurgle, Khorne or Tzeentch
  
  Mission Statement
  To take over the known world
  
  The seven holy principles
  §1 of obedience to the Lord Protector and reunification of one's own will
  
  §2 of the privilige to accuse, dispense judgement, declare anathema and excommunication
  
  §3 how the brethren may dress and clothe themselves (wear black and only symbols like ghal-maraz or the twin tailed comet)
  
  §4 how the brethren will maintain the secretive nature of the order
  
  §5 the instilling of fear through the regular use of public execution and trials by ordeal.
  
  §6 the suppression of mercy
  
  
  Methods of Obtaining Information:
  The Wirlig
  A cylinder cage that can spin around. When in use, step away to avoid vomit
  
  The Scold's bridle
  Iron mask put on the subject's face with an iron spike that goes into the mouth of the subject, effectively gaggin him to ensure he does not cast spells or incarnations. Not for S&M use!
  
  The wheel
  large Wheel on a pole. Subject is strapped to the wheel and spun around.
  
  Methods of Obtaining Confessions/Punishment:
  
  Trial by cake
  The subject must eat three pieces of cake at the Altar, Sigmar's wrath will cause him to choke, if guilty.
  
  Trial by fire I
  Subject must walk ten paces while holding a hammer that has been set alight. If the hammer is dropped, the subject is guilty. If the subject completes the test (given his flesh is unharmed from the fire) he is innocent.
  
  Trial by fire II
  Subject must walk across red-hot pkoughshares without showing any sign of harm.
  
  Trial by water
  The accused must remove a stone from a larger iron pot of boiling water with his bare hands. If his skin shows any sign of damage he is found guilty.
  
  Trial by Hammer I
  The accused must stand upright with his arms stretched out forming a T shape, symbolizing the Ghal Maraz. To prove his innocense he must remain in this position for a lenght of time determined by the witch hunters.
  
  Trial by Hammer II
  Subject shall be beaten with a predetermined number of hits with a hammer blessed by a priest. If subject's flesh shows damage he is a witch.
  
  Trial by Water II
  Subject shall be bound and gagged and feet strapped to a large stone and lowered into a lake. If subject reemerges, subject is a witch.
  
  Trial by Fire 3:
  Victim Supect shall be burnt at the stake: If Suspect survives, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly.
  
  Trial By Flight:
  Victim Supect shall be flown high into the air on a pegasus, and dropped. Should suspect fly away handgunner teams and hochland long rifle squads will shoot the witch. Otherwise suspect is innocent.
  
  Trial By Cannon:
  Victim Supect shall be shot at point blank by a cannon. Should suspect survive, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly. Alternative is to be shot out of a cannon, during a battle. Should suspect return, he is innocent
  
  Trial Of Regeneration:
  Victim Supect shall be de-armed, and de-legged. After four days if suspect re-grows limbs, he is a heretic and will be dispatched accordingly
  
  Trial By Stake:
  Victim Supect shall be placed in an iron maiden. Should Suspect survive, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly
  
  Trial By Flogging:
  Victim Supect shall be flogged and beaten for 20 minutes. Should suspect make any noise, he is a witch and will be dispatched accordingly.
  
  Trial by Axe: The suspected has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off. so we burn him. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head.
  
  Trial by Google: Suspects name shall be entered into the google search engine, followed by the hitting of the button "I'm Feeling Lucky". Should the page that comes up be considered adequate, suspect is considered a witch for manipulating the google search engine to his own gain, but should the page be considered inappropriate or not adequate, suspect is a witch and should be dispatched accordingly

[Calvin]

To me, this looks more like a Count's Tavern candidate.

Keep it fun ;-)

[Veldemere]

Things deemed heretical: Surely dressing as any of the characters from any of the games, If you promise not to dress as the characters I promise not to burn you at the stake in real life!

[machine-child]

Things deemed heretical: Surely dressing as any of the characters from any of the games, If you promise not to dress as the characters I promise not to burn you at the stake in real life!

Lol, seconded

[offroadfury88]

how about making threats?

[FVC]

Oh, no, no, we can't have that a heresy. How could we carry out our inquisitional duties without being heretics ourselves if that were the case?

[Gargoyle]

You all sound like witches to me.
No discussion can take place after dark, for that is the hours when witchesmake their mayhem and their covens meet.

Bring back dunking.

[warhammerlord_soth]

Where can one apply for a position in this organisation ?

[McKnight]

Well you need to go through the witch hunter training!  And buy the witch hunter's handbook* (http://www.warhammer-empire.com/library/quill/witch.php)

Actually Wyzer our powers should be:
The six holy principles

§1 of obedience to the Lord Protector and reunification of one's own will

§2 of the privilige to accuse, dispense judgement, declare anathema and excommunication

§3 how the brethren may dress and clothe themselves (wear black and only symbols like ghal-maraz or the twin tailed comet)

§4 how the brethren will maintain the secretive nature of the order

§5 the instilling of fear through the regular use of public execution and trials by ordeal.

§6 the suppression of mercy



Now, one thing Rufas is doing wrong is just burning people. Before burning we need to torture the subject to gather all the infomation we can... and of course, the confession. We cant kill without the confession, that would be barbaric.
That is why we need torturers.

People we also should keep a close eye on are the painters on this forum. I have a strong feeling, many of them have been tempted by the dark Gods to get a better talent.

Doing battle reports is always a good thing. Im planning on making my witch hunter army (no arch lector... Arch lectors have nothing to do with the secret witch hunters. No im using Witch hunter generals and captains, aided by local priests).
Since my most played opponent is mortal chaos, cleansing should be no problem.

*You dont really have to buy this book to enter lol... but its a cool addition if you love witch hunters.

[Guvnor]

of obedience to the Lord Protector (Midaski) and reunification of one's own will

Except when accusing him of heresy in order to get up the promotion ladder.  You can't be a proper inquisition without grassing your superiors/peers/mates up in order to boost your own position- that is, until someone else reveals your power-mad and heretical activities.

[McKnight]

Shame on you Midaski lol... too bad it shows that you edited my post! :icon_lol:   
Who - Moi :engel:

We will make it clear that mods are not automatically on the witch hunter team...

True witch hunters dont think about politics... (only those who are in the position of power (Witch hunter captains and above)) but only care about cleansing the lands and protecting the innocent in the name of Lord Sigmar.

[Midaski]

I agree with Calvin - keep this fun and it could be great.

Feel free to form your society ...............

However be sure to register it at the Chancellor's Office, with the appropriate fee.
Then do appoint a treasurer - Rufas is not recognised as suitable, given his track record with the Nordland Timber Company, and the 'sooting' scam - who must ensure your accounts are submitted annually for tax purposes.



Small Print:
In the event of non-payment of the Emperor's Taxes all the members become jointly and severally liable and will be tortured and burnt for non-payment.

  :icon_wink:

[McKnight]

You did it again!...

One more time and you will meet my experienced torturer... Mr. Feather! :ph34r:

I thought witch hunters got paid by the Temple of Sigmar... not the other way around... Your tax money goes into our pockets! bwhaha

[Veldemere]

McKnight, you make the mistake of hitting Midaski with something he does not fear, threats. Hit him with something he truly fears, youth!

[FVC]

Actually Wyzer our powers should be:

Our chief power is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... our two holy powers are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... argh, our three powers are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical dedication to Midaski... our four... no, amongst our powers are... oh, sod it, I'll try again.

...

Sorry. Someone was going to have to mention that skit eventually, though.

[Gargoyle]

Let them get some wealthy members first and then publically slate them as heretics through the Town Cryer and I'll sort out this part...

...and will be tortured and burnt for non-payment.

We have some nice warm apartments for your kind down 'ere my lad...  :icon_twisted:

[McKnight]

McKnight, you make the mistake of hitting Midaski with something he does not fear, threats. Hit him with something he truly fears, youth!

AH yes true... Could Midaski perhaps be a vampire of old times, since he is so old as he is? :ph34r:

Nice one FVC :biggriin:

[stretch_135]

Actually Wyzer our powers should be:

Our chief power is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... our two holy powers are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... argh, our three powers are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical dedication to Midaski... our four... no, amongst our powers are... oh, sod it, I'll try again.

...

Sorry. Someone was going to have to mention that skit eventually, though.

Do we bring out the plastic-coated dish-drying rack?  :engel:

[Wyzer1]

I would like to call your attention to a thread started by a newer member, "Garan"

http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=16196.msg201972#msg201972

I was a bit suspicous when I saw that he used a 2-stank / War Altar list, but after further review I feel it is time to act.

.... was the fact that my WAlter never got into combat since....

Consider him burned at the stake

[Garan]

I would like to call your attention to a thread started by a newer member, "Garan"

http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=16196.msg201972#msg201972

I was a bit suspicous when I saw that he used a 2-stank / War Altar list, but after further review I feel it is time to act.

.... was the fact that my WAlter never got into combat since....

Consider him burned at the stake

In my defense I would like to point out the fact that I spelled it the correct way in my army list, hence it should be obvious that the quoted text was just a minor missprint, please put away the torches.
-Garan

[Rufas the Eccentric]

To Wyzer1
Holy Inquisitor

Gee, I go away for the weekend, have a pleasent time meeting Herr Wissenlander, and the lovely Frau Wissenlander, and come back to find all of this going on.  So many things to comment on.

First, Wyzer1, Are you sure this is not merely a means to furthering your personal campaign against those who dare speak of "War Alter" or "Waltar"?

With respect to Kiron, I was truly hoping the kid would get a royal pardon from Emperor Grutch.  If Grutch is reading this, Kirons grieving widow and 12 starving children would probably appreciate the gesture.

I have informed Midaski, that my stocks of Nordland Timber are depleted, and I am only using them on a pro bono basis in service of the Church.

of obedience to the Lord Protector (Midaski) and reunification of one's own will
Huh?  Don't you mean renunciation?  Why does an elderly tax collector deserve our obedience?
The very nature of the position he holds makes him highly suspect.  Is everyone, perhaps, intimidated by his threats?
They're hollow, hollow, I tell you.

Now, one thing Rufas is doing wrong is just burning people. Before burning we need to torture the subject to gather all the infomation we can... and of course, the confession. We cant kill without the confession, that would be barbaric.
That is why we need torturers.

While torture is a pleasent advocation, I resent the implication that I was only about burning heretics.  People forget the lucrative business of selling indulgences to those who were merely slightly over the line, or to those who were fearful of an accusation. 
Now speaking of indulgences, we of course must raise money for the endeavor.  Do you think that firewood grows on trees or something?

Well do you?

However, beware of the of the evil tricks that the elderly Lord of the Exchequer can play.  You are just getting started and already he has you ready to write a check for taxes.  Never forget that the Inquisition is an arm of the Holy Church of Sigmar, and as such under Section 503(c) of the Imperial Tax Code is a tax exempt entity. 

However, if one is feeling sorry for Midaski, you can send care packages of Grecian Formula, Bengay, Viagra and Adult Diapers.

Actually Wyzer our powers should be:
Sorry. Someone was going to have to mention that skit eventually, though.

Nobody expects the Nordland Inquisition.

Overall, I think the undertaking is a most worthy endeavor.  I have tried to fight the creeping influence of Chaos on my own, and have been ridiculed and threatened by imperial tax collectors for my efforts.  The task is far beyond the ability of any one person to undertake.  While I am happy to help the endeavor, the burden of command is too great given my most recent wounds.  I believe Herr Wyzer1 would be the perfect choice for High Inquisitor.  

In the meantime, I shall start purchasing additional firewood.

Rufas of Nordland
Provisional Wizard Lord, 4th Level
4077th Field Hospital
Talebec Borders

[Rufas the Eccentric]

I would like to call your attention to a thread started by a newer member, "Garan"

http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=16196.msg201972#msg201972

I was a bit suspicous when I saw that he used a 2-stank / War Altar list, but after further review I feel it is time to act.

.... was the fact that my WAlter never got into combat since....

Consider him burned at the stake

In my defense I would like to point out the fact that I spelled it the correct way in my army list, hence it should be obvious that the quoted text was just a minor missprint, please put away the torches.
-Garan

Clearly they are over reacting.  The innocent such as yourself, have no reason to worry as the Inquistion is always completely fair and just in their deliberations......

On the other hand perhaps you should consider the purchase of an Indulgence or two just to be safe.  I can now offer two kinds.  Those signed by Johann Esmer, Vice Theoginest if your are a Sigmarian, and hot off the presses, Indulgences signed by Biff Huss, for those of a more Ulrican nature.  It's safest to get one of each.

:engel: 
I love this smiley.

[McKnight]

of obedience to the Lord Protector (Midaski) and reunification of one's own will
Huh?  Don't you mean renunciation?  Why does an elderly tax collector deserve our obedience?
The very nature of the position he holds makes him highly suspect.  Is everyone, perhaps, intimidated by his threats?
They're hollow, hollow, I tell you.

Lol midaski put it there himself  :-D

We dont really need to make money Rufas... We get our money from the church of sigmar.. So its their problem to get taxes.

[McKnight]

I would like to call your attention to a thread started by a newer member, "Garan"

http://www.warhammer-empire.com/theforum/index.php?topic=16196.msg201972#msg201972

I was a bit suspicous when I saw that he used a 2-stank / War Altar list, but after further review I feel it is time to act.

.... was the fact that my WAlter never got into combat since....

Consider him burned at the stake

In my defense I would like to point out the fact that I spelled it the correct way in my army list, hence it should be obvious that the quoted text was just a minor missprint, please put away the torches.
-Garan

What defense?  :biggriin:
Well yes maybe Wyzer is using his power to move his personal campaign.. naughty naughty wyzer... Walter have nothing to do with heretics... Walters are dwarfs remember  :-D

[Veldemere]

2 stanks and a WAltar, sounds to me like all his Empire troops were selected because they were under 5 foot tall with big beards. A hex on him, mark his house with the taint, Rufas, please accept my order for more firewood, (I have sent payment by Engineer, we were going to send by pigeon but we figured they were worth more in battle than an engineer)