Topic: Pirate army rough draft fiction

[Rowsdower]

I guess after since....[how many years now has it been since 2004?] that my pirate army could do with some fiction
Here goes.
Captain Jack Tar possesses two talents; 1, to drink even the most hard-livered Dwarf lord under the table and 2: to collect enemies at the rate stray dogs collect fleas.
I'll add more when I feel like it I guess